By David Steele
Unfortunately, it is increasingly common to hear love relationships in which abuse is constant. These types of toxic behaviors are very difficult to hide for a long time. An abuser, as soon as he has a romantic relationship, will establish parameters in which the abuse, of whatever type, takes deep roots.
The problem of identifying it as quickly as it arises is that most of the time, people are intermingled in manifestations of affection, attention, and passion, which leads them to overlook the issue.
Now let's take these three steps together:
Think of all those occasions when you have had "discussions" that have come to blows, humiliation, verbal, or even intimate abuse. Why does the whole problem start? Does it threaten you? Does it make you feel guilty? It may be that your children are the means by which I keep you tied to him, or perhaps he has already hurt one of the children.
These fights or discussions are repeated periodically, followed by moments in which you feel special, further followed by insults and abuse again. It may even be that you have already tried to quit, have attended conjugal therapy, have tried, but nothing changes. The cycle of abuse is such that you have already learned to cover the bruises, to justify your swollen eyes, and even your constant sadness and distress.
If you recognize yourself in these three points, you are in an abusive relationship, without a doubt.
Now, how to get out of it alive? Follow these three steps:
1. Make serious decisions
The change of an abuser is possible with a lot of will, supervision, and therapy, but those who really do it are an exception. The vast majority of abusers do not change, and they are to blame for increasing the numbers of domestic violence and, unfortunately, homicides.
Therefore, if you fear for the welfare of your children, for their safety and your life, it may be time to leave the relationship.
2. Seek help
One of the characteristics of an abuser is that he "isolates" his victims in such a way that when he seeks help, there is no one around to help him. Therefore, find your family again, friends, a neighbor, even a civil, private, religious, feminine or legal association; there are many instances that know how to support women and men who live this same situation.
Additionally, you can also seek out for a relationship expert, someone like David Steele, who has decades of experience in relationship coaching. Steele is the Founder and CEO of Relationship Coaching Institute (RIC), an organization that helps individuals get into the business of relationship coaching.
David is also an incredible mentor, advisor, and consultant who can lend a tremendous effect on those seeking help.
3. Proceed legally
This step is the most difficult to take, as many women fear to face their perpetrator for fear of reprisals and, therefore, only seek to flee and disappear. Reporting is the first step in caring for other women who are victims of abusers.
About David Steele:
David Steele, founder of Relationship Coaching Institute and pioneer of the relationship coaching profession. The Relationship Coaching Institute is the first and largest relationship coach training organization. Steele is the author of several books and is recognized as a global authority on growing a profitable private practice.
