Not too long ago, I was overwhelmed by the fact that I have an abundance of love to give. That may sound random and ridiculous, but I’m pretty sure this feeling stemmed from taking some social work classes...
Don't get me wrong: I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend. I didn’t even want to date. Some days, I'm still convinced that boys have cooties. But I felt like I needed something in my life. Something that was mine especially to love and cherish.
It was then that I adopted three of the most precious 38-cent goldfish you’ve ever seen. I christened them: Will (iamShakespeare), (Edgar) Al(len Poe), and (F. Scott) Fitz(gerald), after three of my all-time favorite authors. And I decided that getting a goldfish is pretty much the same thing as getting a boyfriend.
Not seeing the similarities? Well, let me list some out for you…
1. The beginning is an adventure
Oh my goodness, I was so excited to buy and bring home my spectacular little fish! I would compare this feeling, the happy-giddy-smiley feeling, to the feeling one experiences upon entering a relationship. You have high hopes, definite expectations. Clearly, your life has just been changed for the better.
2. You take pride in them
Just. Look. At. Those. Fish. They’re awesome. Ooh and aah over your new and shiny fish, just like you ooh and aah over your new and shiny relationship with your new and shiny person.
3. It’s an investment
The fish may be cheap, but the bowl, pebbles, plants, fishy castles, food, and water neutralizer cost a pretty penny. Anything can look awesome on paper, but a relationship demands more than meets the eye. They aren’t all about going on fancy dates, buying each other gifts, and posting cute Instagram pictures together. I think the original Yours, Mine, and Ours movie says it best:
“Life isn't a love in, it's the dishes and the orthodontist and the shoe repairman and ground round instead of roast beef. And I'll tell you something else: it isn't going to a bed with a man that proves you're in love with him; it's getting up in the morning and facing the drab, miserable, wonderful everyday world with him that counts.”
A relationship calls for an investment, involving effort and quality time. You put a lot into that other person, just like you put a lot into your fishbowl.
4. You find a space for them
When you bring your fish home, you have to find a place to set the bowl.They need a spot where they can get adequate attention and TLC. In a relationship, you have to find where partner fits into your life, and into your heart. This involves communicating, prioritizing, trusting, and choosing to love them.
5. You’re accountable
You have to feed the fish. You have to clean the bowl. You have to find someone to take care of them when you go away for the weekend. You have to help feed them. You have to help them clean and stay clean. You have to make sure they are taken care of before you leave for the weekend. Fish, boys. Seeing similarities yet?
6. You love them
Some people might not understand why your fish are so important to you, but you love them. You talk to them, you figure out whether or not they like spinach, and you get used to seeing them every day. Relationships are similar. You come to know your boyfriend, his likes, and dislikes. You talk to him and spend time with him regularly. He becomes a big part of your life, and you're glad that he's yours.
7. Endings are never pleasant
Flushing is no fun. Breakups are no fun. They both take a good deal of willpower and no small amount of unpleasantness. But even though post-flush you might avoid a certain toilet bowl for a while, you still know that there are more fish in the sea. (Or in the pet shop.) And once your heart heals from your loss, you can go out and look for another, if you want.
Some fish cost more than 38 cents. Some are far more rare and valuable. And although it may take time to find them, you should hold out for those precious fish.
