We all have them. Ex's that is. Some we love, most we hate, but in some way or another... we all have those people in our lives where it just didn't work out. With every break up there's a story and a reason. Whether that story was one of a mutual break up or a bittersweet goodbye, every end to a relationship has just that. An end.
Now, don't get me wrong, most of us have either been there or thought about going there. The dreadful "getting back with your ex." There are many reasons for getting back with an ex which may include... you still think they're the love of your life, or maybe you loved their family way too much to let go, or you aren't ready to be alone again, or maybe even, you just had really bomb sex. Sometimes, we don't even have a reason, our brain just goes against everything we should know as common knowledge, looks past all the shit they've done to you, and we just do it.
Relationships start with all the lovey-dovey holding hands, kissing, and mushy text messages. Cute dates to dollar scoop at Baskin Robbin's, or if he's feeling spendy, a waffle cone at Ferdinand's. You are so blind in love you can't see anything other than you, him, your wedding day, and your four children. Then, it happens. No one ever expects it, even with the worst of guys. Something happens between the two of you that forces you to go your separate ways. Honestly, everybody knew this is for the better, but to you, the whole world just came tumbling down. You spend your days and nights in bed eating pint after pint of Ben and Jerry's and watching some rom-com, wondering where things went wrong and why the hell Ryan Gosling isn't writing you letters every day. You don't think you'll every love again in your entire life. So you do the unthinkable. You call each other crying and apologizing saying it was the biggest mistake of your life...and you get back together.
Here's where the advice comes in. First, for whatever reason it is, you guys broke up. That says something. If it didn't work out the first time, I guarantee it's not going to work a second time. You will be stuck going around in circles and your end point will be breaking up over the same thing you did the first time over and over. The fights will be much more constant since you still will have that anger of him breaking up with you in the first place. Save yourself the trouble and move on the first time. Second, it's super embarrassing to go on rants to your mom, dad, friends, siblings, third cousins, the checker at Safeway, whoever, about how awful this guy is and then the next day when you're at Safeway the same clerk says "power to ya girl, you don't need no man to be happy" and you have to embarrassingly say "oh actually we're back together! All those things about how terrible of a human being he is are SO not true he's the love of my life lol". Awkward. Third, if you spent precious time taking down all the pics of you two while listening to man-hating songs and replacing those pics with pics of your BFFs, family, and most importantly dog..why would you wanna spend hours putting them back up? What about those bomb Instagram captions you edited to be something totally hilarious and sassy. You definitely don't want to change those back.
All in all, getting back with your ex is just a bad idea for more reasons than one. If it doesn't work out, take it for the better and find love in yourself so you can love the next hottie to come your way. Always remember each person you date is either a practice run or the real deal. Don't get too hung up on all the practice runs because they're only gonna make you better when the real deal comes along. Do you for a while and ALWAYS love yourself before you love any guy.
