Breakups suck.
A breakup from a long, multi-year relationship is torture. Someone you once thought was your whole life is suddenly gone, and everything changes. You know the expression people say when you look sad, “You look like you just lost your best friend.” It's a lot like that, but exponentially worse. That being said, it is one of many bad things that are just gonna happen in life, and like the other difficult moments, you’re going to have to eventually get over it.
Not that I think any person would argue this point, but it’s worth saying there is no one-shot remedy to cure a breakup. It can help to hang out with friends, to write, play music, find a hobby; but it always just takes time. Time is a lot like taking a gross medicine daily for weeks on end to get over a sickness. It stinks, and all you want is for it to be over and done with. But, similarly, you can’t get around it, and it won’t last forever. Now, getting over a breakup takes different amounts of time depending on gender, personality, views on relationships, and type of lifestyle you lead.
For example, a popular guy at a secular college might have an easier time getting over a breakup than a middle aged guy with a job and kids. The college guy can convince himself that he is “free” and will go out partying with friends, drinking, talking to other girls and can forget to be sad in almost no time. But the middle-aged guy has been through breakups before…many of them too. He may feel hopeless and unable to find lasting romance since he is as old as he is, and still failing. But he can’t work any of it out because he has kids he has to keep happy and well cared for. Then, all the sadness and anger is pent up in his head and heart, resting and becoming stronger as the months go on, and are likely to stay even until the next relationship.
Either way, however, long or short the “getting over it” time takes, the person shouldn’t be judged. My break up happened exactly a month and a half ago, and we were together for two and a half years. I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping, watching How I met Your Mother, and just thinking through my life and a fair amount of sulking. I am proud to say now, I am finally getting better to the point the breakup doesn’t affect my daily life anymore. I’ve made my peace with it and can now work on myself, which in the end does the most to help with a breakup. That is my personal experience…there’s no such thing as too short or too long when referring to a getting over it time.
Everyone has their own pace and their own methods…and it's all okay as long as it helps them get back to living a happy, productive life.
