Graduating sucks. I’m not going to sugar coat it. You are forced to leave behind a place that you have grown to call your home (unless you’re on that Van Wilder grind), and you are about to embark on the transition of entering the real world. Whether you are employed or fun-employed, moving back home with Mom and Pops, or moving far away to a land filled with debt and just skating by, there are a few mandatory rituals, now that you are no longer in college. Let me clarify, no one wants to leave the land of $2 vodka sodas and crop tops, but if you want to be taken seriously as an adult, you gotta get your crap together.
Let’s start with the obvious.
Clothing.
In college, wearing bras for shirts, and shorts that resemble thongs more than actual pants, is considered acceptable clothing. In the adult world, they are referred to as undergarments. I know, I know, there is nothing more freeing than letting your butt cheeks hang out on a hot summer day, but if you’re not careful, people are going to assume your profession is a stripper. I wish this wasn’t the case, but adults are a lot more judgmental than us students. Lame. So ladies, cut the crop; and to the frat daddies out there, don’t be so frat-daddy-like. Trade the bucket hats in, and suit up.
Drinking.
This is another obvious one. Drinking is a great way to let loose and socialize, but when you’re an adult, you drink mimosas at brunch and fine French wine at dinner. Not Franzia, and Natty Light. I get that no one has a ton of money during this awkward transitional phase, but your goal should be quality, not quantity. Not only is what you drink in college socially unacceptable, but the way that alcohol makes you act isn’t, either. You can’t be a sloptart on weekdays. The least you have to do is try to only be a sloptart on the weekends, but I’ve heard even that is frowned upon. Bummer, I know.
Day-drinking/daging.
This doesn’t have to disappear completely, thank God, but the amount you dage does need to decrease. Waking up at 10 a.m. and pounding back the brewskis is considered alcoholism in the adult world, so you have to save day drinking for special occasions. For example, going to the beach, concerts, graduation or birthday parties, holidays, or mourning the end of your youth. So I take this one back, go ahead and day drink until you damn well please, because this sucks.
Hook ups.
You aren’t a freshman in some frat basement, anymore. You pay bills, you have responsibilities. Just don’t go around making out with the bartender every night, or going home with some random man who bought you a creepy blue. The real world is scary, and people do a lot of bad things. This one you have to do for your own safety. You won’t be surrounded by people who know you, anymore, but by creepy adults who do creepy things.
Binge shopping.
When you’re in college you have certain financial responsibilities yes, but you also had some extra spending money for things like cheap alcohol and clothes. Now that you’re an adult, you can’t just be spending your money in the moment, you have to save. I lived from paycheck to paycheck while in school, but now that you have to save up to move out, you have to start thinking of your future. The money you make can no longer go towards basic-b***h clothing, but for that apartment you can fit approximately yourself and a small goldfish in. Outfit repeating is so in, right now, anyway.
Sleep schedule.
This to me, is the most heartbreaking. Say goodbye to going to bed at 4 a.m. and waking up at 4 p.m. Naps are frowned upon, and sleeping all day is no way you want to spend your one day off. If you have a full-time job, you have no energy during the week for fun activities. Basically, just say goodbye to sleep. You have to make enough time for the gym, friends, family, personal time, and errands, all outside of your work week. None of this will be possible if you spend your spare time cuddled up binge watching Netflix.
Look, I hear the real world isn’t all that bad. Being independent from your parents, and allocating your time towards what you want to do, rather than what you have to, do, is pretty nice. Accomplishing goals and making something of your career is supposed to be really rewarding, but it’s just hard to leave a life of carefree fun and no responsibility. It’s hard to cut out unhealthy habits, but once you do, you’ll probably be happier than you could have ever imagined. Just like the transition from high school to college was rough, the transition from college to the real world will be, too. College turned out pretty fantastic, so I have high hopes for this next stage of life.
