We are Generation Yes. Yes to jobs we don’t want because we’re afraid we won’t find anything else. Yes to people in our beds that we hardly know because we’re afraid to be alone. Yes to colleges we don’t like because we’re afraid we won’t get anywhere without a degree. Yes to going out every weekend because we’re afraid we’ll lose friends. Yes to people, places and experiences because saying no is just too damn hard for us.
“Yes” is a wonderful word. It can lead you down many exciting roads and towards amazing adventures. But we say “yes” all too often. We overcommit so we won’t have to be alone with ourselves for more than a few minutes. And we say “yes” because saying “no” makes you a bore according to the majority of people around you.
But the common response to, “how are you?” from a young person is often “stressed” or “tired” with a little laugh afterward. We make fun of our stress. We think that it is normal to constantly be tired and burned out before we even have a college degree. We want it all: good grades, a relationship, money, fun and sleep. So we end up sacrificing our sanity for the sake of trying to get it all. We end up losing friends, sleep, or a good relationship because we just don’t have the time for everything.
We feel like we will regret saying “no” down the line. We’re afraid we’ll realize in a few months how good that person or experience could have been for us. The fear of missing out is real and a bit concerning. It turns “I’ll stay at this party for ten more minutes” into walking home at 5 in the morning and missing class. It turns “just one more shot” into needing to get wasted every weekend to have fun. We want it all and so we forget to check in with ourselves and see if we really need something that we aren’t giving ourselves. We say “yes” because we are afraid to say “no.” And we say “yes” because what if he’s different? Or what if we miss out on something incredible?
If you don’t believe me, type “I didn’t say no” into your search engine like I just did and see what comes up. All but one of the results on the first page was about sexual assault. Saying “no” takes no effort and yet people are afraid to say it when it comes to protecting their own bodies. People, especially young people, are afraid to say “no” because they don’t know what would happen to them if they said it.
So how do we change this “yes” mentality? By taking better care of ourselves. By realizing when saying “yes” even one more time will burn us out completely. We have to start taking time to think before committing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying “no” every once in a while. Obviously, there are times when saying “yes” will do no harm. When you’re sitting at home on a Friday night and your best friend asks you to go to a house show with her, “yes” is an appropriate response.
But if you feel like you need time to recharge or if something does not seem like a good idea, it is acceptable to say “no.” It doesn’t matter how people view you or look down on you if it means that you have protected yourself and made the right decision. The only problem with saying “no” is when you are just afraid to take a leap outside of your comfort zone. If the situation is safe and it could potentially improve your life in some way, then say “yes!” You never want to turn down an opportunity to better yourself.
