I am not your tinderella and refuse to conform to the ways of this generation.

The other day I got a text from this guy I know. I met him on tinder a few months back and he popped up, because he was in my mile radius. I learned he goes to the same school I do. We started talking, the usual conversation of course:

Tinder: “Hey!” “What’s up?” “Oh, you go here too?!” “We should hang out!” “I don’t use this much, can I just get your number?”

Actual texting: “So why are you on tinder?” “What are your intentions?”

I can’t be the only one who’s had these conversations. It’s small talk we beat around the bush. Most people really don’t care that you like watching basketball or that you are working towards a degree, they are looking for short sweet and simple, a hookup. People will constantly ask me “well, why do you use the app if you don’t like guys asking you to hookup?” Well, I don’t live under a rock, I couldn’t say I didn’t like it without trying it, and I believe somewhere, someway that I’m a swipe away from meeting an incredible man, whether I date him or not. Just because you are on tinder does not mean you should be placed into a category of being a person whose only intentions are to hookup.

So the boy that went to my school I talked to him for a few days and our conversation faded which no big deal it happens, but I got a text from him today. He asked if I wanted to “chill”. If I didn’t live in a generation full of hookups I wouldn’t have thought anything of it and I probably would have went out to hang out with him. Instead I told him that I didn’t remember what he had told me when we had that conversation about what his intentions were on tinder, an app that is notorious for hookups, even though a lot of people don’t use it for hookups. He told me that he wasn’t looking for a hookup. However, I knew exactly what he was looking for, whether he was going to admit it to me or not. I said to him “Hey, if you just want to be friends, let’s meet at a mutual location, let’s grab coffee or something.” About 10 minutes later he responded and said, “I didn’t know people did that.” I asked him what he meant because I was very confused because I go get coffee with people all the time. He said that he didn’t know that people actually went to get coffee or that people our age actually met up to just talk and get to know one another. It honestly had me in awe that this generation doesn’t understand the concept of going on dates, or going to do activities outside the bedroom.

I can’t even remember the last time I had a conversation with a guy and the topic of sleeping with them didn’t come up. We don’t know how to hold conversations anymore. Social media, is probably a huge factor in that as well. We can easily talk to people we don’t know through a screen from the comfort of our couch. As soon as it comes to actually hanging out with that person both parties feel awkward because what could they possibly talk about? It’s not like you don’t know anything about them, no, talking isn’t a thing so why not just sleep together. It seems like a win-win neither person has to say a word, you don’t even have to look them in the eyes, the best part, you’ll never see them again! Woohoo!!

It’s annoying, I can’t seem to find meaningful relationships because everyone wants to be unattached but news flash we are human and we have feelings. I’m not here to shame you for hooking up with people, I’m just saying maybe we all need to take a step back and look and ourselves, you are worth so much more than being Tinderella, stand your ground and find your actual prince charming, he might even be on tinder, but start swiping responsibly.