I’ve been through plenty of struggles in my collegiate career thus far. Whether it be grades, stress, sleep or what have you, I’ve had some problems, as many people have had in the past. But none of those have come even close to my struggles and hardships being a first generation college student. Coming from a family that knew nothing of college, I had many questions and issues from the very beginning when I applied to schools. The struggles taught me a lot of my family’s support, and my own strength.

During my senior year of high school everyone seemed to have it all together, and know what they were doing with themselves for the next four years of their life. I was completely lost. I tried my best to keep up and it was just so hard, my dad tried helping me but it was just so hard to. It was to the point where I had no clue what “undergraduate” meant. I didn’t know where to apply to colleges, and when I did apply where to do my financial aid. My high school offered some assistance, but it was still just my dad and I trying to get through it because we both wanted me to have a future. In the end, yes, I did apply and get into a school I enjoyed and I even got in with a scholarship, but it was a long time coming to get there. This is something I’m sure most first generation college students like me had to go through. There is a certain inadequacy associated with being a first generation student as well. As I mentioned earlier as you were trying to figure out what to do with everything, people seemed to know exactly what path they were on. They knew what they were doing with their lives while you couldn’t even figure out what the “FAFSA” was. It gets to a point where you feel pathetic around your peers and the only thing to attribute that too is the fact you’re the first child in the family who has tried to overcome this feat. But this should have given the opposite feeling, I should have excited to make people proud, but instead I was terrified.

It didn’t get any easier while in college, even to this day I feel the everlasting effects of being the first in my family to take the step to go to college. Along with the lack of resources readily available to help with the constant financial aid struggles, and other collegiate issues there is a terrible amount of stress, and the constant pressure of doing your family proud. You took that jump and everyone wants you to fly but at times you’re just not sure if you can. You feel the pressure of being the family’s “golden child” while also feeling guilty because you aren’t sure if you even deserve it. The praise should make you feel good, but all it does is add to the weight on your back of making their pride for you worth it by reaching that end goal of a degree. Though I always have doubts I know that my goal is that and that I will achieve it. Despite all the emotional toll that is given to first generation students, there is also a tremendous amount of strength too, for being able to take all the toll and be able to use it for their advantage. It gets very hard but I would not like to have gone through this experience any other way. I went from not knowing the difference between a bachelor’s degree, and a master’s degree to now having a clear plan with graduate school in that path. I grew mentally and emotionally because of having to take all of this stress so fast, this growth is specific to the student like me, and it gives us the strength to keep going, despite the hardships that has been put in front of us. With only 11% of low income, first generation student’s graduating within 6 years, we know that our goal has to be completed.