Let's call it how it is. Cigars are "meant" for men. Fruity drinks are “meant” for women. God forbid a woman asks for a cigar, or a man asks for a mixed drink typically served with a paper umbrella. Cigar-smoking women can be classified as "unladylike," and fruity drink drinking men can be considered to be, well, lesser men.
If college has taught me anything, it's that I can smoke a cigar with the guys and not be seen any differently, except as maybe more low maintenance. The majority of my guy friends actually love the fact that I’ll go outside with them on a cool fall night and listen to smooth jazz, a cigar in hand. That and they can blow cigar smoke in my direction because I honestly don't care (I actually quite enjoy the smell).
Yes, I realize cigar smoking is not the healthiest pastime there is, and no, I don’t do it often. However, for the occasional “guys'-plus-one” night, it’s a great way to bond. It’s not like other bonding party activities that can take mere seconds. Finishing a cigar can take hours and often leads to more conversations of substance. That's why when I go to barbecues or other social events where people our parents’ age are present, and I receive a “you can’t be serious look” when I ask for a puff of my dad’s cigar, it really hits a nerve.
Since starting college, I've entered into a world where I can essentially be, for lack of a better term, "a bro" to a ton of guys, but still completely be a girl. I've become someone who can finish a cigar by herself and watch a group of guys drink a margarita or a fruity punch and not think twice about it. But I'm also still the girl who doesn't care if she paints her nails and wears a frilly dress and wedges at the same time.
This is great for both me and my guy friends. It’s liberating to know that we can all hang out together and not be expected to live up to a certain gender standard. Each of us gets to enjoy activities that fight typical stereotypes in a judgement-free zone.
And that's the incredible thing about Millennials that I feel like older generations simply don't understand. For us, there are no set roles or images that men and women need to live up to. Ladies, go smoke that nice cigar! Guys, feel free to drink an umbrella-adorned cocktail! You have every right to break the stereotypes that society has placed upon us. And, if anyone questions what you’re doing, just laugh and simply do whatever the hell you were going to do anyway.
