Can I be a boy today?
Gender is a very disputed topic. Scientists and theorists are trying to prove different theories correct. Scientists, according to author Mishaal Baksk, suggest genetics and biology determine gender, while theorists say societal influences, especially stereotypes, are responsible.
Where does gender come from? How concrete is gender? Is it nature or nurture that influences a person’s gender? To answer, gender comes from within, it is the way that a person feels, the characteristics he or she possesses, and the roles and behaviors a society considers correct for each sex. A person’s gender can change, it is not concrete, especially in someone's younger years. We have read instances where several children were unsure of their gender. The nurturing young children receive, from the people around them, helps give them their gender.
I grew up in a four-person home with, my mother, father, older brother and myself. There were stereotypical things in my house, but I still had some freedom to choose. I was always a girly girl, for as long as I can remember; but at the same time, I was inquisitive about things my dad did outside or in the workshop. I knew I was a girl and I knew I wanted to be a girl. It helped that my mother was a makeup consultant/artist and I was always around her products and many beautiful women. There were always things I wondered about that my dad did. I could just ask my dad about something he was working on and he would teach me as much as he could. All I had to do was ask.
I was a daddy’s girl. I loved to get dirty with my dad and also loved playing dress up and makeup with my mom. I did not feel I needed to change my gender just because I wanted to learn about what my dad did. Growing up, I learned a lot about “being a girl.” I was always terrible at sitting “like a girl,” but no one ever questioned my gender because of it. I also learned many things that would be considered masculine now. I used to have all the Craftsman wrench sizes memorized and I always knew exactly where each hung in my dad’s workshop. I honestly was not even aware that I could change my gender, so I never questioned it.
I thank my parents for the way they raised me, but times have changed. It was more common 20 years ago for both women and men to know how to be handy, fix their own cars, be able to use their muscles and possess characteristics of both genders. I bet there were men who enjoyed things that were stereotyped as aspects of the female gender and vice versa. It depended on how these people were nurtured in their environments and what influences the cultural environment had to establish whether or not they expressed their true desires.
Growing up, I never knew anyone who was openly expressive of the opposite gender. I believe that a person who knows and interacts with these curious people are more likely to realize anything that may lead to switching genders. Now, I know transgender males and females, as well as people who are inquisitive about their own genders. The culture has shifted, thus making new societal norms and nurturing people.
The sex, with which a child is born, only goes so far. Feelings, as a child, should come before their biological sex. For all they know, all children have the same parts. In the early years, it is important to let the child express him or herself to discover many things independently, about the world and the individual. Imposing stereotypical norms will influence the child, yet nature does draw the picture, but nurture colors the picture, inside or outside the lines.
