Hear me out for a second-
Choices. We wake up and make the choice to brew a cup of coffee or grab that last bottle of water off the shelf. We attend to our daily obligations, and choose whether or not we want to put up with Dan and his latest story about what intoxicated shenanigans he got up to last night. Or, if we want to sit next to Meghan, who by the smell of it, I’m pretty sure doesn’t own a toothbrush. We guide ourselves home, sometimes via the longer scenic route, and sometimes just try to get back in a timely fashion. These are choices.
When we smile and nod at Dan it’s a simple reflexive act, just another day. I believe we should have more “easy” choices in life, but I guess I’m a simple girl. So, excuse me for a minute while I make things a little more complex. -Some people apparently are still struggling with the idea of compassion. Some believe that they should have the right to dictate how others behave. They have an egotistical notion that strangers’ lifestyles have something, anything, to do with their own. So, I’m here to break down a mystifying idea for those people: don’t be a dick.
The point I’m getting to is everyone should have the right to choices. If you don’t like religion, don’t be religious. If you don’t like abortion, don’t get an abortion. If you don’t like gay marriage, you know what? I’ll let you in on something: don’t have a gay marriage. Don’t marry someone of the same sex. Just don’t do it. And for God's sake, gender specific bathrooms? College students can’t make it 100 feet between frats without public urination, but suddenly when we are indoors we need to be “politically correct?” Just let people pee.
Moral certainties are rooted in the time and culture in which they take place. In the United States, slavery provoked a great Civil War that ended with more American casualties than all other wars combined. Additionally, alcohol was allowed, then repealed, then allowed again. Furthermore, laws and attitudes about abortion and contraception have swung back and forth throughout American history after first gaining real medical grounds in the late 1800’s. My point here is this: few of our great moral conflicts are ever quietly put to rest. We need to do better. We need to reconcile our conflicting moral certainties with our need to live together as members of one society. Maybe the starting point is simply attempting to be empathetic. There are currently 7.4 billion people in the world; how can you be so sure that your viewpoint is the right one?
Listening and being understanding of someone else is a sign of intelligence. Think about it like this: what other species understands compassion? This trait is arguably uniquely human. Being human is being emotional and thoughtful about what the other person is feeling and trying to say. To metaphorically, or literally, throw stones at someone you have conflicting views with is to risk going backwards in evolutionary progress. And right now, the concept of devolution continues to threaten an insecure, hateful society. You can’t decide what someone else should or shouldn't do, but especially not if you can’t relate. So while empathy may not be the sole answer, it certainly is a good place to start.
To wrap up my completely unreasonable agenda, I want to end on one final idea. Humans are not innately hateful. Hate is learned. In preschool the fight that breaks out is not over the color of skin, but by the color of the crayon they both want. I’m not saying you need to be in complete support of all individuals’ right to autonomy, but maybe try to realize that their choices often do not affect you. Your world is going to keep turning if Marissa gets an abortion or if Jerry wears his Yamaka. Don’t lose sleep over the fact that your buddy William prepares a (registered, legal) rifle for his annual family hunting trip. And if Kaitlyn chooses to sleep with 4 guys this month, it shouldn't stop you from waking up tomorrow.
So maybe next time, instead of oppressing an entire group of individuals, just choose that last bottle of water and get on with your day.
