To this day, and though he has been corrected numerous times, my dad calls the show "Games of Throne." "Games" plural, "Throne" singular. It’s a small mistake, but it’s a significant one.
"Games of Throne" sounds like something they’d title a low-budget "GOT" porn parody, involving a series of gross sexual acts on top of some piece of furniture meant to resemble the Iron Throne, but is really just a lawn chair with a couple plastic swords duct-taped to it.
It’s important to know the correct title for any TV show you watch, especially if you’ve seen every season. And please know my dad has watched every season of "Game of Thrones" and is up to date.
I know that keeping track of the names of all the characters is difficult, but there are a few that you should just know. The other day, I showed my dad a series of photos of some characters and asked him to give me their names. His answers are listed below.
My dad's answer: Dragon Mother
Right answer: Daenerys Targaryen
Daenerys Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of Meereen, the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains.
And she mentions this long list at least once every three episodes, so for him to remember even “Dragon Mother” is good enough.
My dad's answer: "Wacko. I don’t know."
Right answer: Ramsay Bolton
Wacko. I guess Ramsay is a wacko. My dad has a knack of calling characters by their prominent personality trait. Ramsay is probably the biggest “wacko” on the show right now.
My dad's answer: "Queen Somebody or Princess Whatever"
Right answer: Cersei Lannister
Cersei. Queen Cersei. And you know what, she’s Queen Mother now. But still, close enough.
My dad's answer: "Oh, it’s 'Funny Guy.'"
Right answer: Bronn
Well, he was right. That guy was the comic relief every time he was on screen. I had to Google him to figure out his name, and it’s Bronn. "Funny Guy" Bronn.
My dad's answer: "Is it Drake? Rake? I don’t know. Whatever." (“Theron! It’s Theron!” my mom shouts in the background.)
Actual answer: Theon "Reek" Greyjoy
Oh, my God. Drake? C’mon, Dad. That is way off. It’s Theon Greyjoy! I guess Rake is close enough to Reek, but we need to stop referring to Theon as Reek or we’ll give Ramsay more satisfaction than he deserves.
My dad's answer: "Sad Girl"
Right answer: Sansa Stark
Sad Girl Sansa. She probably is one of the saddest characters. Here my dad goes again, calling the characters by their defining personality trait.
My dad's answer: "Jaime’s Brother"
Right answer: Tyrion Lannister
I have never heard anyone refer to Tyrion as “Jaime’s brother." Ever. My dad didn’t even call him by one of his many insulting nicknames, like “the imp.”
My dad's answer: "King Jocifer"
Right answer: Joffrey Baratheon
It’s kind of like a mix between Joffrey and Lucifer, which isn’t exactly inaccurate.
My dad's answer: "Dragon Woman’s Friend"
Right answer: Jorah Mormont
True. And he’s definitely friend-zoned.
My dad's answer: "Horse Man"
Right answer: Khal Drogo
Poor Khal Drogo. He is more than his horses. He was the leader of the Dothraki, for God's sake.
My Dad's answer: "Jaime"
Right answer: Jaime Lannister
This was the only character name he actually got right. I’m sure he doesn’t know his last name, though.
