I have never really had a long-term, female best friend. I would be lying if I wish I had something like that. I cannot really explain why I have never had one. I know when I was younger, I did not connect very well with most other girls in my grade. I still have trouble connecting occasionally.
This is not saying I've never had a female friend, I have. Many actually, some for several years. I just have never had that connection that you see in the movies. What people would call "besties" such as Raven and Chelsea in "That's So Raven." I never understood that level of friendship.
I went to a few sleepovers and to several girls' houses but that ever lasted more than a year or so. For some reason, I could never really keep it going further. TV may partially be my downfall with this illusion of what a female best friend should be like.
I've talked to some other people before about this situation, and even other girls have said similar things. For the longest time, I thought there was something wrong with me. Though maybe, I have not met that person yet, and that fear makes me drive away those people who could possibly fill that role.
While I have close friends, I don't quite have that one person I can go to and discuss every little detail about events in my life, gossip, or "talk about cute boys" like I saw in so many shows and movies growing up.
But not having a female best friend is not the end of the world.
Making friends is always an awkward experience and definitely has a skill level. I know people that can make friends within a day, and others who take several times meeting. I am one of those that takes some time. I need to warm up to people before I can decide if I want to continue a more involved friendship.
Now, I am not trying to undermine any of my friends. I have so many amazing friends and so many that I am close too, but it would be hard to pinpoint who my BFF technically is. I'm introverted in nature, I like personal space, and time away from people.
Those who I am willing to spend time with mean the world to me.
I've had so many friends come and go, through both good and bad terms. I've also had some long-term friends, both male, and female, but poor communication on my part has probably kept those friendships from going further.
So maybe I don't have that single someone that I share a BFF necklace with, but I would not trade the group of people I am friends with for a single person. In the end, I would rather have my group of friends I am equally close with than a single person I am close with.
