Here is a riddle: what is constantly telling you what to do every day? It lurks around the corner, but you know it is there. It bullies you to see its side in every argument and undermines your success. The answer is known to all of us: fear. From the riddle’s description, fear sounds like a villain from a horror movie. It is a weakness for all of us, like Superman’s kryptonite. Yet, we oftentimes continue to fuel it and allow it to always be victorious.
During Franklin D. Roosevelt’s first inaugural speech, he famously said the “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” However, we attribute all anxiety towards the item we fear, forgetting fear is the villain, not heights or spiders. In order to save the day, we need to attack the villain at the root.
That’s easier said than done of course. Like in all things, a game plan is needed. Think about it this way: collectively, we all have fears, whether it is fear of rejection, public speaking, heights, commitment, spiders or flying. Personally, my biggest fear is public speaking. I hate speaking in front of crowds. When I do, I am surrounded by self-doubt. I’m not thinking about what I am speaking about; I am simply fearful that my zipper is down or my voice sounds weird. But, the first step in conquering fear, is knowing that there is a support system behind you. There is a whole team supporting you who can relate, unlike your fear bring you down.
Second, the tactic that works best is flooding yourself with your fear. Wow, that sounds scary, right? I thought so too, but conquering your fear is a process. So, we start with baby steps. Till Gross, famous psychologist and inspirational speaker, took on the challenge at age 21 to conquer fears. So, he wrote down a list of all of his fears and tried to simplify them to root cause. For instance, if he was scared to approach girls, he wrote down rejection. After comprising a list, he began to work. One day, at a train stop, he pondered what it would feel like if he laid down at the train station on the ground in front of a busy stop. This idea got him nervous and he realized it is because he was scared of rejection. People rejecting him and giving nasty looks or questioning him. So what did he do? He took a leap of faith and laid down for ten seconds.
This probably made you anxious reading this. No, I am not telling you to do the same thing. But as Till discusses in his TEDxTalk, he felt more confident after, like he was in control. He continued to find simple ways to successfully get rid of fears, through exposure. To get used to a fear, he would intentionally find ways to be rejected by 10 people, or jump out of a plane to adjust to heights. Here is what I am telling you to do: find support, write a list and challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone every day. Say hi to someone that intimidates you or purposely put yourself in a situation that there is a likelihood you will be rejected. Let each day be a day of progress. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Do one thing every day that scares you.”
