I am writing this letter as a heartbroken college senior. Earlier this year I was unexpectedly dumped by a guy I was positive I would marry. Over the last ten months I have observed several things about being in (and out) of a relationship that I find essential. Remember these things as you take on your next relationship.
Friends are Always First: Sure, you are in love and have found the best guy ever. I am happy for you. But at the end of the day, friends are forever. Guys may not be. Still call your girlfriends every day. Make time for them at least once a week. Do not blow them off for a man. It is important to nurture the relationship with your boyfriend, but never forget the girls who were with you when you were at your lowest point. They are the ones that truly matter. If you would have told me a year ago that I would be single today, I would have called you crazy. I never saw it coming. Be sure to continue being a great friend, because you never know what tomorrow will bring.
Savor Every Moment: Like I said before, you could wake up one morning and everything you had planned on could be gone. You never know what is coming next. Savor every moment in this relationship like it is the last. Go on spontaneous trips and laugh harder than you have ever laughed. At the end of the day, these are the moments that will matter the most to you.
Love Like You Have Never Been Hurt: Wow! Heartache is the worst, but this person deserves your love. They have chosen you out of all the fish in the sea. It is hard to trust again after you have been broken to your core, but try hard. If you live your life in fear of being hurt again, you will never fully be living your life. Let this guy in. He has to be a great one if you are willing to date him. When you look back on your relationship, you want to look back with confidence that you gave this person every ounce of whole-hearted love you could. If y’all work out, great! If you don’t, you know you loved them with everything you had.
Be Who You Are Unapologetically: Joining a new family is hard. Each family is different, but love your boyfriend’s family as if they are your own. On the flip side, be who you are. Do not falter from your values and morals to impress his parents. Some people are impossible to please. You do not want to waste your valuable time hating yourself, because they are unwilling to love you. I am sure it is hard as parents to watch your son fall in love and begin making decisions with someone else. Cut them some slack. At the end of the day, you have to be confident in who you are and who you were raised to be.
Most of all, love yourself. You are beautiful, smart, funny, and amazing. Do not let anyone tell you differently or make you feel differently. Find someone who loves all your flaws and quirks. You deserve to be loved by yourself just as much as you deserve to be loved by others. Most of all, enjoy the rollercoasters of life, they make things more interesting.
