We have all heard the stereotypes about sorority girls and how they are all obsessed with their littles and bigs. I'm just here to let everyone know those stereotypes are true and here are some of the funniest tweets about it.
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As I'm writing this, I can feel my concentration slipping. Noises have become enticing, I feel distanced from my phone, and every time someone walks by me in the library, I turn around seeing if it's someone I know. My extended-release Adderall is starting to wear off and my brain is starting to relax back to its natural state. My ADD is climbing out from underneath the blanket of focus I had for 10 hours today.
ADD is not all that it's cracked up to be. Sure, we get prescribed the precious Adderall so many people want, but at what cost? Let me put this in context for you. You know when you're at the library and there's a one really, really loud girl talking on the phone? You know the one. The girl that, for some reason, thinks it's OK to have a full-fledged conversation with her mom about her boyfriend in the middle of the quiet section. The girl that's talking so loud that it's all you can think about, occupying all of your focus. Well, that's what every single person in the room is like when you have ADD.
Distractions that are easy to ignore to someone without ADD are intensified and, instead of focusing on the task at hand, I'm listening to the girl three seats down from me eat her barbecue kettle chips. When you have ADD, it's not just schoolwork you can't focus on. You can't focus on anything. I tried to watch a foreign film one time without my medicine, and I forgot to pay attention to the subtitles. I realized about halfway through the movie that I had no idea what was going on.
What almost everyone that asks me for my Adderall doesn't understand is that I take Adderall to focus how you would normally. When you take my Adderall you feel like you can solve the world's problems. You can bang out an entire project in one night. You can cram for an entire exam fueled by this surge of motivation that seems super-hero-like.
You take my Adderall and ask me, “Is this how you feel all the time?" And, unfortunately, my answer is no. I'll never feel like a limitless mastermind. When I take Adderall, I become a normal human being. I can finish a normal amount of work, in a normal amount of time.
My brain works in two modes: on Adderall, and off Adderall. On Adderall, I'm attentive, motivated and energetic. Off Adderall, I can barely get up the motivation and focus to clean my room or send an email. And it's frustrating. I'm frustrated with my lack of drive. I'm frustrated that this is how my brain operates. Scattered, spastic and very, very unorganized. There's nothing desirable about not being able to finish a sentence because you lost thought mid-way through.
The worst thing that you can say to anyone with ADD is, “I think I should start taking Adderall." Having ADD isn't a free pass to get super-pills, having ADD means you have a disability. I take Adderall because I have a disability, and it wasn't a choice I had a say in. I was tested for ADD my freshman year of college.
My parents were skeptical because they didn't know exactly what ADD was. To them, the kids with ADD were the bad kids in school that caused a scene and were constantly sent out of class. Not an above average student in her first year at a university. I went to a counselor and, after I was diagnosed with ADD, told me with a straight mouth, “Marissa this is something you're going to have to take for the rest of your life."
When the late-night assignments and cramming for the tests are over, and we're all out in the real world, I'm still going to be taking Adderall. When I'm raising a family and have to take the right kid to the right place for soccer practice, I'm still going be taking Adderall. And when I'm trying to remember the numbers they just said for bingo at my nursing home, I'm still going to be taking Adderall.
So you tell me you're jealous that I get prescribed Adderall? Don't be. I'm jealous that you can drink a cup a coffee and motivate yourself once you lose focus. I'm jealous that the success of your day doesn't depend on whether or not you took a pill that morning. The idea of waking up and performing a full day without my medicine is foreign to me.
My brain works in two modes, and I don't know which one is the right one. I don't know which mode is the one the big man upstairs wants me to operate in. So before you say you want to be prescribed to Adderall, ask yourself if you need and want to operate in two different modes.
Ask yourself if you want to rely on medicine to make your entire life work. If I had a choice, I would choose coffee like the rest of the world.
They say that recruitment week is the best and worst week of your life.
I didn't realize what this meant until mid-way through the week. The week was lengthy, energy draining and all that fun stuff, but at the end of the process, I would have a new home - a home away from home with 100+ sisters to hang out with.
On bid day when I opened my card, I was ecstatic to get the sorority I wanted. Even though we didn't exactly get to run home (we got dropped off right in front of the house due to safety precautions) all the excitement flowing through my body felt like I physically ran home.
Hopping off the bus, I saw all of my new sisters holding signs with all of the new members' names on them. Looking around and finding my rush crush was the serenest thing ever. That day I met more people than I ever thought was possible. My Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and every other form of social media I owned was blowing up with an abundance of friend requests, comments and likes from people I didn't even know yet. These people knew me and wanted me there. It was such an amazing feeling to have. I never had a sister growing up or someone to look up to, but now I had more than I could count.
Originally, I didn't fully know what to expect from joining a sorority other than a bunch of new friends and a new home. What I didn't realize is how much this would actually mean to me and how much it would do for me. They say within a sorority what you give is what you get, and I abide by that 100 percent. Sometimes I'm really busy with overruling school life and I don't get as much as I want from Greek life, but when I do give it my time, I have the best times and make the best memories of my life.
I didn't just gain friends when I went Greek, I gained experiences and life-long bonds.
As soon as I walked through the doors of Alpha Epsilon Phi during rush week, I felt a sense of home. I never felt like I had someone to look up to, being that I was the oldest in my family. If I needed anything from professor recommendations, a shirt to wear, advice about a boy, someone to go to Walmart with, someone to study with or anything honestly, I now had it.
Not only did joining a sorority open social doors for me, but I also have opportunities for internships, community service, charity and even more. I also am not limited to just my chapter, I have the opportunity to voice myself within the entire Panhellenic community.