Its been a while but we're here again. In the same bed we fell in love, and the bed we realized it was over in. Now its a new place with clean sheets and the memories of you have been removed it's like you never existed. The only trace of you is your body back in my bed. I know I shouldn't have done it, I see you grinning ear to ear, but I am filled with regret. Your with someone else now. You have a new girlfriend. It's not the casual thing you lie to me and say it is. She has your heart and told you she loves you, but once again you lay in bed with me filled with no regret and no love for either of us. I wish I could tell her, so her heart breaks less then mine, but I don't have the courage. I've have the letter saved in my phone for when I drink enough and I want her to know the man you are., but I knew all of this and somehow still got into bed with you again. Is it because we live in a hookup culture or because we never stopped loving each other? And while you hold me and run your fingers through my hair while I lay in your chest I know it's because theres still love there.

My question is how. How can you have this with two girls? Does she know you still call me, but my phone number is saved as Jim? No because you told her I am crazy or does she know when she told you she was starting to love you at 1 am you called me asking how to respond because you don't love her yet. To her I am sorry, you deserve better, but to you I am gone. I refuse to go from your sun and stars to your dirty little secret. So Im glad I hooked up with my ex because I will never go back again.

P.S, to the other woman if you read this and I hope you do, send me a message and I'll tell you anything.