By the time I was a freshman in high school I was a functioning alcoholic. That's not even an exaggeration, I was either drunk or asleep most days. I would wake up, take a few drinks out of whatever bottle I had under my bed, go to school, get loaded at lunch, go back to class, and trash my bloodstream continuously from 3:30 to whenever I finally fell asleep. I knew I was functioning because my parents, teachers, and friends all had no idea. I was self destructive, but quiet about it. My grades had never been perfect, but they'd never been this bad. I was on my third time failing geometry. Nobody knew what to do with me because nobody knew what was wrong with me. I kept everything buried so deep down, so well hidden, that my sudden apathy had no apparent cause. This isn't something I've shared with a lot of people before, so it will probably come as a surprise. The reason I drank so much was because I was lost. I had no direction anymore. I've never been religious, so I couldn't look to God, and I was terrified of disappointing my parents, so I couldn't talk to them. I ended up getting lucky though. I had two teachers that knew something was wrong. They didn't know what it was exactly, but it didn't matter, they were going to do something about it anyway.
The first was my high school's principal Jerry Schaeffer. He was unique in that it was his first time at Panhandle High School also. After I failed geometry for the entire first semester of my high school career he pulled me into his office and offered me a deal: I could start working hard and pass, or I could fail again and be suspended. I it had been anybody else I would've thought they were a jerk, but there was something different about Mr. Schaeffer, a sort of sincerity. I can't explain it, but I knew he didn't want me to be suspended, but he also didn't want me to just pass either. He wanted more, he wanted exceptional, not necessarily from my grades, but from my life. He saw something in me that I couldn't see in myself. I didn't know what it was, I still don't, but I knew I wanted to try to live up to his expectations for me. Over the next three years he became not just a friend, but a confidant. When I was worried about a class I would go to him. When I needed advice on college applications I went to him. When I was drowning in anxiety my first year at college I went to him. He was always there without question or hesitation. He's one of the biggest role models in my life, and I can never begin to thank him for pulling me into his office that day.
Around the same time Mr. Schaeffer pulled me into his office I was trying to join the next years debate team and theater cast. Both of these programs were run by a woman named Sheryl Oliver. I bugged her about it constantly, and finally one day she relented and checked into my performance in class over the past few years. I had a few bad marks on my record from junior high, but the glaringly obvious ones were my grades for that year. She called me up to her desk one day and said the phrase that would change my life forever: "Christian I can't allow you to be on either team if you don't get it together." I had been dreaming about debate and theater ever since I was a little kid, and this was the final punch in the gut I needed. I gave up drinking altogether for a long time, not even on special occasions where my parents would offer me one glass. I swore to Mrs. Oliver that I would be good enough to perform. I swore I would be deserving enough. I poured my heart and soul into trying to be worthy enough in her eyes. I don't know if I ever really got there, but I like to think I did. I ended up having the time of my life in her classes, and she's in most of my fondest memories from high school. She took the lump of coal I was and pressed me into the diamond she knew I could be. She drove me to be better than I ever had been, and helped me find a life long passion. I can never begin to thank her enough. She's not a teacher of the month, year, or even decade. She's the teacher of a lifetime in my eyes, and I will spend the rest of my life trying live up to that.
I've been out of high school for almost two years, and even though I've stumbled from time to time, I've always bounced back because of Mr. Schaeffer and Mrs. Oliver. They inspired my decision to become an educator. I was lost, but they found me. I want nothing more than to be able to do that for someone else someday. They aren't just educators, but now life long friends. I am who I am in part because of their influence, and I couldn't be prouder of that fact. I'm not perfect, and I never will be, but I'm closer now then I would've ever been without them.
