I probably seem like a complete bitch, but I need you to know that I'm trying. I'm really trying to let people in, and I'm trying to enjoy early adulthood, date, and have fun, but it's hard when I have been though so much pain and heartbreak this young.
I was once the girl who fell too easily, too fast, and it broke me. I've met some really great guys, and I've met some of the slimiest, and it really changes a girl to have seen both ends of the spectrum. It makes me confused on what I want, and if I even want to have a relationship. I've dealt with cheating, with being used for money or for a "trophy", I've dealt with manipulation, and I'm done.
I won't let just anybody in, and I'm sorry that this includes you. I've met guys who have a nice face and come across like a sweet heart and within a few months they're yelling at me because I don't know what entrance they want me to park in front of at the mall (real experience). I've met guys who say they want something serious, but ended up cheating, and broke off the relationship saying " I just didn't want anything serious." So when I push you away, please understand that there's so much more, and by you simply saying "but you can trust me" won't change the fact that I can't.
All I'm asking for is some time and patience, and if you can't wait long enough for me to warm up to you, then you can step in line with the rest, because you don't deserve my time, and I obviously wasn't that special.
I promise I'm a nice girl, and when I let you in, I'll give you the world, but it takes a lot to break through my walls I have built to block the hurt and the pain I have received from "boyfriend's past." I wish I could apologize, but I've learned through time that this isn't my fault that people didn't know how to treat me right. It's not my fault that I gave those a chance who didn't deserve me telling them the time of day.
I, now, know what I want and what I deserve. I have a set of standards and a strong sense of character when a young man steps forward and wants to engage in conversation, or take me out. I know a person's intentions just by the way they introduce themselves, and this fortress I have built around myself is for my own good. I want to be the nice girl I once was, but only for the right person.
So all I'm asking, is if you think I'm worth it.
Please, please don't give up on me.
From,
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