If there is anything that I have been taught this summer, it is that things do not always go the way you had planned. I was supposed to be working one or two jobs, but due to some unexpected circumstances, that was not possible at the time. I was also supposed to have my license by now, but once again, unexpected circumstances.
While life seemed to keep getting in my way, I decided to look at all my goals and plans from the outside. I am going to learn to drive because I am thinking of a future for myself, my future husband, and my kids, it would be a lot easier for all of us if my children had two parents who drove. I came from a family that only had one driving parent and it was very difficult.
I decided that I am going to keep on being a writer and while I have not been publishing as much, I have been busy dabbling away in journals that I may pull inspiration from. I know writing is a big part of my life, it has gotten me through most of it, and while I have gone through months of writers block, I think it was more the idea that my life got too out of hand and I was having a hard time handling it.
My boyfriend always says as long as you are putting 120% into everything you do, it does not matter at that moment if you are only trying or succeeding; you are putting your all in at that moment and that is what counts.
Things take time to completely flourish and when you are still trying to heal from your past, things take time. But I am learning and I am getting better. I went through a lot and a very hard past relationship that I am slowly healing from with the help of the love of my life. We both see that life is not easy, but it is easier since we have each other and that is what counts.
What everyone thinks about me does not matter because they do not know my story or what I have been through. All they know is a small girl, who loves to write and overthinks everything. If they knew why I overthink they may sympathize, but no chance unless they would listen, but I am much happier learning on my own with my family, close friends, and my love.
When we are younger we think that we must be liked by everyone, but as we get older we see just how much that is not needed. It is almost sad to want that. Life pushes us out of our comfort zones and makes us deal with stuff that we do not want to and this summer and past year has pushed me to the edge and I thought I was going to tumble down, but in the past three weeks I am picking myself back up and stepping back because while life tried to get the best of me, I know there are better things out there for me.
I am sticking to the goals and dreams that I have and now striving for them more than ever. I’m going to keep writing, drawing, finding myself, loving the love of my life, keep learning to understand my family, keep wishing for a successful life, husband and kids because you know what, those things have all been my passion since I was young, and it is not worth giving up on yourself when you are so close to it all.
Life threw me so many curveballs this year, but I’m not letting that stop me. I am going to achieve it all and show that anything is possible no matter what obstacles you have to go through.
