I've always been "the nice girl."
Even when friends stepped all over me and used my resources, I was nice.
Even when people were abusive, I was nice.
Even when I did a good job and faced punishments, I was nice.
Even when a guy led me on, I was nice.
Even when people tried to ruin my spirit, I was nice.
I've always been nice.
I've always tried to make the best of situations and to see the good in people.
I've always tried to do whatever I could to help until I ended up exhausted.
But, I can't do that anymore.
My motivation was fear. I was afraid of upsetting people or letting them down. I had to learn that other people's upset was on them.
I wanted to be valued and appreciated. But, I've learned that I had it all wrong.
The fear of standing up for myself had to be conquered and unfortunately, that made life much harder. I had sleepless nights and angry people around me when I objected to something based on my gut. I feared others' anger.
I'm a peaceful person with an aversion to violence and cruelty. I'd rather see people happy. But, that doesn't make me immune to the very things that repulse me. More often than not, it makes me a magnet for them.
Maybe in the midst of harsh animosity, there were people who respected me for continuing on with a bright light and I found that really hard to understand.
"I wasn't nice!" I thought. I took a stand instead.
A nice girl can be sweet and fearless. She can be bold, valiant and savvy. She has every right to refuse to be treated like a recyclable or doormat for paws to be wiped on.
Being nice doesn't equate to respect. There is a seriousness disconnect in the world where humans view nice as weak and therefore, assume that every bad mood, intention and thought should be directed to the nearest angel of harmony. Just because their life is out of whack, they feel entitled to rattle the life of one who is serene.
That's my take on things and I suppose, I'd rather have the respect of others than their liking.
People who are respected don't always please everyone, in fact, that is rare. These people do what is right, even when it is hard and especially if it is unpopular.
These people say what they mean and mean what they say.
For example, the other night I was at a concert and this girl approached. She was dancing wildly with a drink in her hand. I cringed and stepped back. She continued to step on me and basically, gyrated in my face. I tapped her on her shoulder and asked her to stop. She then spent the rest of the night pointing at me and whispering.
This is what happens to nice girls when they don't let people prance all over them: snickers, whispers, points and looks.
I guess I have to learn to not care about that and maybe, I already do.
I may not be liked for trying to protect myself, but that is better than saying nothing and getting hurt.
Courage means doing things that are hard and there is nothing quite so beautiful as a nice girl taking a stand and showing bravery.
The famous quote, "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind," couldn't be truer.
I've been called names, violated, threatened, spit on and bullied yet, I've carried on. I refuse to cry. I refuse to be bullied or taken advantage of again. My life may have started out on a raw note, but that doesn't mean I'm destined to live that way forever.
This is courage.
Nice girls get approached way too often with raw deals. They get minimized, undervalued and disrespected for being stupid.
Never underestimate the strength of nice girls.
My teacher is a giant, physically fit, Polynesian man. No one would ever dare mess with him.
He tells me, “People see nice girls and think they can do whatever they want to them."
He’s right and if it weren't for him, God only knows where I'd be.
Sad, afraid and alone come to mind.
But, I'm none of those.
I tell him all of my stories and he tells me what to do. I do it. Every nice girl out there needs a fearless man to back them up.
Before him, I used to help all my friends without any regard for my own needs.
I'd be polite to the guy who always came around thinking he was only being nice too. I'd give anybody a chance. He'd say,"quit it." His protection guaranteed and I'd wish I had met him sooner.
He enlightened me and opened my eyes to what's really going on.
I've learned that everybody needs a nice girl around, but a nice girl doesn't need everybody around. We need to be extremely picky and careful.
A nice girl doesn't need every person who desperately wants to be her friend or date her. In fact, those are the people to typically be leery of.
Nice girls need friends and boyfriends who don't need them, like a drug, but rather, people who want to be around and who appreciate them. We need people who refuse to take advantage of our nice disposition.
The key thing to understanding a nice girl is that she is much more than her outward, pleasant exterior.
She is smart, sensitive, caring and compassionate.
She has interests, likes, hobbies and things that inspire her. When people fault her pieces, they do her a disservice.
I guess the biggest lesson for a nice girl to learn is that she matters.
NICE GIRLS MEAN SOMETHING!
I'm a nice girl who wants to keep being nice, but I understand that doing so will require me to be stronger than most. And, I encourage others like me to stand up and refuse to be defeated by those who aren’t.
