You did it. You’re here. The much-anticipated transition to college is over – well, actually, it’s more like it’s just beginning. You probably spent the last few days of summer hanging out with friends, saying goodbye to family, and being (at least somewhat) sentimental. But before the reality of leaving for college really hit you, you probably felt so ready to leave.
It’s a slow process that begins about halfway through high school, when you become the upperclassmen and can’t wait to move on to the next phase of your life. Whether it’s because you are sick of seeing the same people you grew up with since kindergarten day in and day out or you’re just excited for a fresh start somewhere new, you can’t wait for college to start.
You probably also have adopted this sense of independence that makes it frustrating when your parents don’t let you make all of your own decisions. You can have the best relationship in the world with your parents, and this will still happen to you. It could be on one occasion or every day, but that just depends on how much you like to test your limits and how strict your parents are at enforcing those limits.
Now, here you are, at college. You got everything you wanted – a clean slate in a new place with new people and absolute independence. There’s no one here to tell you what to do or how to do it. At first, this seems like sweet freedom. For some people, this feeling lasts for a week, others a month, and so on. But at some point, the homesickness always creeps in. It makes you miss being at home, with the familiar faces of friends and family you’ve known your whole life. The blank slate you craved suddenly feels like starting over. The independence you wanted soon feels like the crushing pressure of being an adult.
Believe it or not, I’m not saying this to scare you. Rather, I’m saying it to prepare you. If homesickness catches you off guard, it can be really tough to deal with. There will be days when you have to make a difficult decision and all you’ll want to do is call your parents and have them make it for you. Call them. There’s this misconception that calling home or indulging the feeling of homesickness is a sign of weakness. IT’S NOT. Give your parents a call and talk through your decision with them. Don’t ask them to make the decision for you, because making those decisions and making mistakes is how you’re going to actually learn to cope in the real world.
College is like four years of transition from childhood to adulthood. It provides a safe space for you to make mistakes that you can learn from, an opportunity to find the limits of your independence, and an experience that is wholly unique. Think of college like a video game, where you create and choose a path for yourself that is always changing, but you can press pause at any time. You can press pause to think things through better or to ensure that you are making the best decision. You can certainly press pause to call home for advice.
Homesickness is a good thing, because it reminds us of who we are, where we came from, and of the love and support we will ALWAYS have back at home.
