I Am A Plus Size Girl And I Don't Know How I Feel About That

I Am A Plus Size Girl And I Don't Know How I Feel About That

In all honesty, I absolutely hate and absolutely love being a plus size girl.
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People define "plus size" as sizes 10 and up but that is not plus-sized.

Size 10 is a medium, you can go to the petite section and get a size 10 but you can't go to the petite section and get a size 18 or even a size 16. There is a difference between being curvy and being plus sized. Yes, plus sized girls have curves but that does not mean that girls with curves are plus sized.

When I go in a store and I see a cute dress or shirt and it's in the "petite" section I get a little mad because I know that there is no way that, that same piece of clothing will be in the plus size section. Shopping for plus size clothes sucks altogether, not everything that is cute in the petite section is an extra-large or bigger and some clothes that are for plus size girls don't fit right. When I get to shop for new clothes I don't try things on to make sure that it's the right size I try it on because I want to make sure it looks right on me, the plus size girl that it's supposed to fit like the petite clothes that fit the non-plus size girls.

Loving yourself and your body is a different journey for plus size girls. To society, we're disgusting because we're fat and that affects how some of us think about ourselves. It takes a long time to feel comfortable in our skin and be comfortable with our weight. We have to embrace our thighs rubbing against each other when we walk, our curves and our belly rolls, because we can't leave a life unhappy that's more unhealthy than being fat. So we learn to embrace ourselves and love ourselves; it's not easy but when you spend your whole life plus sized you have to learn to love yourself no matter what people think about your weight.

Being plus sized is a little complicated. When you hear a skinny girl call herself fat you hear her friends say "No you're not, stop saying that, your beautiful" but when a girl like me calls herself fat, her friends say "Don't say that about yourself." But the difference between those two interactions isn't the response that the girl gets but the meaning of when they call themselves fat.

When skinny girls call themselves fat, it's in a serious sentence. They know they're not fat, looking in the mirror with a flat stomach and just pulling their skin. But when a fat girl calls herself fat it's not always in a serious sentence; some of us are embarrassed about our weight and some of us aren't and have embraced it.

Boys don't look at us the same because of our weight but they whine about how there are no loyal girls in the world while the girl they probably don't look twice at because she's bigger is a loyal girl. And while I could care less about having a boyfriend, I do feel less confident when I like a boy and I keep thinking about if they think I'm cute and if the don't would they if I was thinner.

It's hard to be a plus size girl in this society when no one really encourages you that your size is "perfect." I know that when this article goes live my sister is going to tell me something along the lines that I shouldn't care about my size, and that I am beautiful and that my size doesn't define who I am but no offense to her she wears a size zero and looks like the Mowery twins, she knows nothing about being plus sized.

She doesn't know that my size is holding me back from getting a boyfriend. Or that when she goes in the clothing store she can get the prettiest thing on the rack and I have to settle for this little area in the back corner of the store. She doesn't know what is feels like to be the friend people talk too just to get to another friend. Or that when I'm in public I order less food because people already see me as the fat girl that "eats too much" when in reality I eat lunch and maybe dinner on a good day.

I might call myself fat and make jokes about a guy not liking me because my weight but that does not mean I hate myself. Me telling myself the truth (because that's what it is) is me loving myself the way I am. I'm not going to go to the gym to lose half my weight for a guy or because I hate myself but because I want to lose it for myself and because I believe that I should. A plus size girl working out isn't because she doesn't love herself but because we want to be healthier. I want to be able to run up the stairs or walk across campus with running out of breath.

In all honesty, I absolutely hate and absolutely love being a plus size girl. I might not be confident when it comes to boys but I am confident in myself. Yes, I have insecurities like everyone else but I don't look in the mirror every day with disappointment and I'm happy for that. I guess I do know how I feel about being a plus sized girl.

Cover Image Credit: Queen Sized//Tumblr

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To All The Nurses In The Making

We tell ourselves that one day it'll all pay off, but will it actually?
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I bet you’re taking a break from studying right now just to read this, aren’t you? Either at the library with friends or in your dorm room. Wherever you may be, you never get the chance to put your books down, at least that’s how it feels to most of us. It sucks feeling like you’ve chosen the hardest major in the world, especially when you see other students barely spending any time studying or doing school work. The exclamation “You’re still here!” is an all too frequent expression from fellow students after recognizing that you’ve spent 10-plus hours in the library. At first it didn’t seem so bad and you told yourself, “This isn’t so difficult, I can handle it,” but fast-forward a few months and you’re questioning if this is really what you want to do with your life.

You can’t keep track of the amount of mental breakdowns you’ve had, how much coffee you’ve consumed, or how many times you’ve called your mom to tell her that you’re dropping out. Nursing is no joke. Half the time it makes you want to go back and change your major, and the other half reminds you why you want to do this, and that is what gets you through it. The thing about being a nursing major is that despite all the difficult exams, labs and overwhelming hours of studying you do, you know that someday you might be the reason someone lives, and you can’t give up on that purpose. We all have our own reasons why we chose nursing -- everyone in your family is a nurse, it’s something you’ve always wanted to do, you’re good at it, or like me, you want to give back to what was given to you. Regardless of what your reasoning is, we all take the same classes, deal with the same professors, and we all have our moments.

I’ve found that groups of students in the same nursing program are like a big family who are unconditionally supportive of each other and offer advice when it’s needed the most. We think that every other college student around us has it so easy, but we know that is not necessarily true. Every major can prove difficult; we’re just a little harder on ourselves. Whenever you feel overwhelmed with your school work and you want to give up, give yourself a minute to imagine where you’ll be in five years -- somewhere in a hospital, taking vitals, and explaining to a patient that everything will be OK. Everything will be worth what we are going through to get to that exact moment.

Remember that the stress and worry about not getting at least a B+ on your anatomy exam is just a small blip of time in our journey; the hours and dedication suck, and it’s those moments that weed us out. Even our advisors tell us that it’s not easy, and they remind us to come up with a back-up plan. Well, I say that if you truly want to be a nurse one day, you must put in your dedication and hard work, study your ass off, stay organized, and you WILL become the nurse you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t let someone discourage you when they relent about how hard nursing is. Take it as motivation to show them that yeah, it is hard, but you know what, I made it through.

With everything you do, give 110 percent and never give up on yourself. If nursing is something that you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life, stick with it and remember the lives you will be impacting someday.

SEE ALSO: Why Nursing School Is Different Than Any Other Major

Cover Image Credit: Kaylee O'Neal

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I Love The Way I Look

The man upstairs owns a mirror.

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So is the headline too overconfident?

I've never been one to write about or even talk about body image. It's one of those topics that we often try to avoid. My best friend and I love to go shopping, and every time we go you can bet we're encouraging each other and lifting one another up. Yet, as I scroll through social media and have casual conversations with other girls my age, you tend to notice that now just about every girl on the planet is insecure about at least one thing about themselves. Most of the time it's about our outer appearance rather than our inner appearance. Trust me, I HAVE BEEN THERE. We try it all. We diet, we work out in order to lose weight or look "more toned" in order to look this so-called "better." We try new healthy foods, follow fitness plans, we even watch fitness videos in our free time. We cover our faces in makeup to cover up the "mess" underneath. We want to be taller/shorter etc. But I'm here to tell you the hardcore truth...are you ready for this?

You are always going to be happy with the way you look. Yep, you read that right, HAPPY.

No matter how hard you try to fix these "things" about you, some of them can't be changed. You know that pretty awesome man upstairs? God? He's made us this way for a reason. He didn't want you to look like the girls around you or the ones on TV. He wanted you for you. The good man owns a mirror.

Alright, alright you've heard this a million times before, I know. But girl, have you read Romans 12:2 lately?

-"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is...His good, pleasing, and perfect will."

I challenge you to go back and read that one twice. More if you need to. The problem is that we are giving these labels to people as if they're name tags. These name tags almost become permanent on us, and we can't shake them off. Instead of judging, instead of the whispers and the "looks," we need to be lifting each other up. Point out the positives that you were given and the positives of those around you. If we all looked alike, imagine how boring life would be.

You don't have to impress anyone. Did you hear that one? You do not have to impress any person. God loves you for you, and in reality, isn't that all that matters? People who understand this will also love you for you. Be the uplifting woman in this world. Be mobile of positivity. In the end, it doesn't matter what we look like. Use the love that the good Lord is giving you and pass it out to the world around you.

1 Thessalonians 1:4- "God not only loves you very much but also has put his hand on you for something special."

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