From HELLO To Complete Silence.

From HELLO To Complete Silence.

It can be really scary to open up to a person.
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I have always been confused on how people can walk into your life, absorb facts about you, and just walk out. Coming to think about it, it is pretty scary because there are about four people out in the world right now who know really specific parts about my life. They chose to no longer be in it. How do you know who to open up to? What if you open up to the wrong person and they walk out of your life? What if you are not opening up to the person who actually is decent because you are scared, they too will walk out?

I do not get it.

Actually I do. People drift away. It happens. Different goals in life, different beliefs, different point of views. They say something that pisses you off and you cannot imagine talking to them again. But if you think about it in depth, it is actually really scary. We have ex best friends walking around who know us better then then the back of their hand, yet they will never speak to you again. We have ex boyfriends and girlfriends who were everything to us at the time, walking around with our deepest darkest secrets. But somehow we hope for the best. Somehow we hope these people will never bring up "your life" to anyone in conversation. That honestly terrifies me.

Within the last couple of years, I noticed myself being more and more quiet. I am a pretty quiet person since pre-k, but now I just become silent in my own way. With every person I meet, I cannot keep myself from predicting the timeline of our relationship and when that person will get up and leave.

It is this never ending cycle with new friends and new relationships. From one side, I want to write a book with all my deepest and darkest secrets, awkward moments, and just random facts about me and just hand it out. That would be so much easier then wasting my time and energy into opening up to someone who will just end up ignoring me in a couple of months.

But from the other side, at this point in life you realize it is all a game. A game of life that we are all participating in without knowing. It is always a fifty-fifty chance in a new friendship or relationship of seeing if things will work out. And by choosing to open up little by little, we are testing the waters.

Anyhow, I do not get it. I wish people could just be straight up. Of course, I get it no one can predict the future, but like c'mon tell me your intentions. Are you talking to me because you actually care or because you are bored for the moment.

There needs to be some kind of code that we can crack. A code that will allow us to know if a person is temporary or is going to stay in our life for the long run. But sadly, there is not a code we can crack and we are stuck on our own.

We are in charge of the outcomes.

Cover Image Credit: Google

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15 Things You Realize As Your Baby Brother Grows Up

No matter how old he gets, he will always be your baby brother.
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Despite the fistfights and days of locking each other out of the house, a little brother is one of the biggest blessings you can receive. Most sisters can agree that they probably bossed their brothers around a lot when they were younger (and probably still do). Most sisters have also most likely forced their brothers to participate in many games that were only enjoyable for one party (baby dolls, house, dress up, etc.)

As a little brother grows up, you start to realize a lot of things as they become your lifelong best friend. Here are 15 of them:

1. He will outgrow you

Even though you were once able to beat him in a wrestling match, and have a fair game of tag, as you get older, he begins to pass you up in size and you realize it probably isn't in your best interest to pick a fight.

2. Teenage boy sass is a real thing

So many times, girls get a bad rep for the teenage phase, but let me tell you, teenage boys have just as much sass if not more than the average hormonal girl. But you also realize that you will get through it, and he is still your sweet brother somewhere deep, deep down.

3. He will go through a phase when he is too cool for you

Your whole life you have been used to your little brother looking up to you and wanting to be just like you and do all the things you do. This probably really annoyed you at some point too and I know I found the words "stop copying me" coming out of my mouth a lot. Don't wish it away, enjoy these times because there hits a point where he will want to do their own thing for a while.

4. He will begin to form his own opinions, and he is actually really smart

He still looks up to you, but there comes a time when he actually starts to contradict and challenge your opinions, and his arguments are surprisingly really good. You learn a lot from your little brother, so start listening to what they have to say sometimes.

5. No girl will ever be good enough for him

When he brings a girl home, you can't help but judge everything about her (no pressure) because to you, no girl will match up to his awesomeness. You know you are annoying, over-controlling, and overly judgmental, but you can't help it, he is your baby brother after all.

6. Regardless of how old or big he gets, if anyone messes with him, you will "beat them up"

I am not a fighter, but somehow anytime someone messes with my little brother, I get the ego of Muhammed Ali and believe that I can beat anyone up. Even now that he has outgrown me by about six inches and 50 pounds and is definitely a lot stronger than me, I still threaten to protect him because for some reason I feel like I can defend him better than he can himself. If anyone shoves him on the soccer field or says something mean to him at school, all of the sudden the big sister is the most intimidating and feisty little 5'4" girl there is out there.

7. He has your back

The once quiet and shy boy you outspoke as a child is not afraid to stand up for you. Even if he knows you're wrong, he is just as protective of you as you are of him and he will always be there for you whether you need a shoulder to cry on, you've had a fight with your friends and need someone to talk to, or a guy blows you off and you just need dairy queen and a movie night.

8. People will think he is your boyfriend and vice versa

As little kids, you were obviously the big sister, but now that he has outgrown you, hit puberty and matured, people mistake him as your boyfriend all the time. When you go to dinner and get the "you are such a cute couple" comment, you can't help but laugh.

9. All of his academic success is obviously all thanks to you

All the days you forced him to play "school" with you and tried to teach him everything you knew paid off because he actually knows what he is doing now. You're welcome.

10. Every year he turns another year older, you freak out because you remember how old you felt when you were his age, and it is not possible for him to be that old

No, no, no. He is little. He cannot drive just because he is 16. That is scary. [Only you were mature enough and ready to drive at 16.] There is no way that he is already 18 and can vote. You will never get used to the fact that he is growing up at the same pace as you are.

11. He is the one person who defies your theory that you are never wrong

He always has your best interests in mind, so if he disapproves of a guy, or questions a choice you are making, he is most likely right, just listen to him. Seriously, it will save you time in the future.

12. You will always worry about him

Yes, you are annoying and you know he can handle himself, but the thought of him ever getting hurt kills you. Every time he goes out or takes a risk, you worry about him. However, you also know and trust that he is smart and makes good choices, and if he ever doesn't, you will always be here to save the day, duh!

13. You are his biggest fan

And you are absolutely obnoxious at sporting games and other events. You are the first person to yell at the referee when he gets fouled and the loudest person screaming when he scores a goal. You also find yourself bragging about him to your friends because you are just so proud, and you taught him everything he knows (duh again).

14. He is your best friend

You can tell him anything and he can tell you anything. You guys have a pact and he won't tell your secrets. He's your person, and you have come to find out that he actually gives great advice when you give him the chance to talk.

15. No matter how old he gets, he will always be your baby brother

No matter how old my brother gets, we still say "I love you" every night and he will always be my little baby brother who I watch over and protect, always. I know I have a lifelong best friend who I can lean on during hard times, and celebrate with when the times are good. Bless up.

Special shoutout to my baby brother, Luke, for teaching me so much about myself and always being there for me.

Cover Image Credit: Author's photo

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10 Things You Know To Be True If You Are The Mom Friend

"Packed us brain food for the lib!"

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Everyone has one, everyone loves their one, and sometimes you might just be the one, the mom friend that is. If you hear yourself sounding like your Mom (which for me, I am not mad about at all) maybe five times each day, chances are you are the Mom friend. If you are the one, here are ten things we all know to be true, even if we wouldn't like to admit it sometimes.

1. You know everyone's schedule

"Hey we have class.. like now"

2. Color coded, everything

From schedules, to do lists, and to notes...everything has its own special color.

3. You know when a stressful test is coming up for your friends

And you will be there for emotional support every step of the way.

4. Hourly to-do lists

You know your day, your roommates day, and all of your friends days. So, you know when they are missing.

5. You make sure all of your friends are well fed.. Even if that means giving them your food

Friend doesn't like something in the dining hall? Here, try this! *Hands them your plate of food*

6. You help your friends do the adult stuff, like going to the bank

"How do I use the ATM with my credit card? It won't work?" This is a job for the Mom friend.

7. Need neosporin? White out? Color coded agendas?

We have them, and some to spare.

8. Make sure all of your friends get to bed after a night out

Make sure they get home, take off their makeup, and tuck them in for the best sleep of their life.

9. You can make DIY ice packs and basically save a life

Friend falls? Rough night? Mom friend will have that ice pack ready in no time to avoid bruising

10. Snacks, always

"Don't worry guys, I have the brain snacks for the library."

To all my fellow Mom friends, here is an appreciation for you. All jokes aside, the Mom friend truly just cares so much for each and every one of her friends and just wants the best for all of them. Sometimes, we care a little too much for people for what we may receive in return, but that's all good, what are the Mom friends for? Plus, American Eagle really dedicated a whole brand of jeans, the Mom Jeans, to us, so who can complain

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