From HELLO To Complete Silence.

From HELLO To Complete Silence.

It can be really scary to open up to a person.
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I have always been confused on how people can walk into your life, absorb facts about you, and just walk out. Coming to think about it, it is pretty scary because there are about four people out in the world right now who know really specific parts about my life. They chose to no longer be in it. How do you know who to open up to? What if you open up to the wrong person and they walk out of your life? What if you are not opening up to the person who actually is decent because you are scared, they too will walk out?

I do not get it.

Actually I do. People drift away. It happens. Different goals in life, different beliefs, different point of views. They say something that pisses you off and you cannot imagine talking to them again. But if you think about it in depth, it is actually really scary. We have ex best friends walking around who know us better then then the back of their hand, yet they will never speak to you again. We have ex boyfriends and girlfriends who were everything to us at the time, walking around with our deepest darkest secrets. But somehow we hope for the best. Somehow we hope these people will never bring up "your life" to anyone in conversation. That honestly terrifies me.

Within the last couple of years, I noticed myself being more and more quiet. I am a pretty quiet person since pre-k, but now I just become silent in my own way. With every person I meet, I cannot keep myself from predicting the timeline of our relationship and when that person will get up and leave.

It is this never ending cycle with new friends and new relationships. From one side, I want to write a book with all my deepest and darkest secrets, awkward moments, and just random facts about me and just hand it out. That would be so much easier then wasting my time and energy into opening up to someone who will just end up ignoring me in a couple of months.

But from the other side, at this point in life you realize it is all a game. A game of life that we are all participating in without knowing. It is always a fifty-fifty chance in a new friendship or relationship of seeing if things will work out. And by choosing to open up little by little, we are testing the waters.

Anyhow, I do not get it. I wish people could just be straight up. Of course, I get it no one can predict the future, but like c'mon tell me your intentions. Are you talking to me because you actually care or because you are bored for the moment.

There needs to be some kind of code that we can crack. A code that will allow us to know if a person is temporary or is going to stay in our life for the long run. But sadly, there is not a code we can crack and we are stuck on our own.

We are in charge of the outcomes.

Cover Image Credit: Google

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Dear Mom, Now That I'm Older

A letter to the woman who made me the woman I am today.
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Dear Mom,

Now that I'm older, I definitely appreciate you a lot more than I did as a kid. I appreciate the little things, from the random text messages to constantly tagging me on Facebook in your "funny" photos and sending me pins of stuff I like on Pinterest. Now that I'm older, I can look back and realize that everything I am is all because of you. You've made me strong but realize it's okay to cry. You've shown me how a mother gives everything to her children to give them a better life than she had, even when she's left with nothing. And, most importantly you've taught me to never give up and without this, I would not be where I am today.

Mom, now that I'm older, I realize that you're the best friend I'm ever going to have. You cheer me on when I try new things and support me in deciding to be whatever person I want to be. Thank you for never telling me I can't do something and helping me figure out ways to be the best woman I can be. Your love for me is unconditional. They say true, unconditional love can only come from God, but mom, I think you're a pretty close second.

SEE ALSO: An Open Letter To The Cool Mom

Now that I'm older, I don't get to see you as much. But not seeing you as much just makes the times I do get to see you the absolute best, and I look forward to it every time. Now that I'm older, I'm not going to live at home. But, I promise to always come back because I know the door is always open. Your house is always going to be my home, and no other place is going to be the same.

Now that I'm older, I realize how much I miss you taking care of me. I miss you making me dinner, making sure I was doing well in school, and taking me to endless appointments. I miss you waking me up for school and then waking me up again because I didn't listen the first time.

But, Mom, now that I'm older, I can see all that you've done for me. I can look back and see how big of a brat I was but you still loved me (and let me live) anyways. I can understand why you did certain things and frankly, you're one bada** of a woman.

To have you as my mom and my best friend has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. So, Mom, now that I'm older, thank you, for everything.

Love,

Your Daughter

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Visiting Your Friends At Different Colleges Is Worth The Drive

Learning about the lives my friends are living at other schools is extremely interesting.

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When I went to college, many of my friends went to different schools. Some of us went to the same college, some went to other in-state schools and some even went out-of-state. If you are ever bored and are thinking about spending the weekend with your friend at their college, I recommend doing it!

As a student at the University of Florida, I already know the best places to eat, party and relax in Gainesville. During my time here, I have met so many new people and have experienced so many new things. But, sometimes I forget that my friends are living their own lives at different schools, as well.

When I went to visit one of my best friends at the University of Central Florida, it was neat to see how she matured as a person. She took me to all the cool bars, introduced me to all of her new friends and gave me a tour of campus. Getting to see how she has evolved so much was so fascinating.

Visiting my friends at Florida State University was a whole experience in itself. I had many friends go to this school. Each of them lives their own lives, some still hang out, and some are even roommates. The culture at each university is so much different than the culture at my school. It was fun to meet all of their new classmates and sorority sisters. Getting to know the people that spend every day with the friends that I used to spend every day with is something I love to do.

If you ever have a break from studying, get a little bored, or even just miss your friends, give them a call and ask to stay with them for the weekend! I promise you will learn so much more about them and how they are taking on their new phase of life.

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