From HELLO To Complete Silence.

From HELLO To Complete Silence.

It can be really scary to open up to a person.
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I have always been confused on how people can walk into your life, absorb facts about you, and just walk out. Coming to think about it, it is pretty scary because there are about four people out in the world right now who know really specific parts about my life. They chose to no longer be in it. How do you know who to open up to? What if you open up to the wrong person and they walk out of your life? What if you are not opening up to the person who actually is decent because you are scared, they too will walk out?

I do not get it.

Actually I do. People drift away. It happens. Different goals in life, different beliefs, different point of views. They say something that pisses you off and you cannot imagine talking to them again. But if you think about it in depth, it is actually really scary. We have ex best friends walking around who know us better then then the back of their hand, yet they will never speak to you again. We have ex boyfriends and girlfriends who were everything to us at the time, walking around with our deepest darkest secrets. But somehow we hope for the best. Somehow we hope these people will never bring up "your life" to anyone in conversation. That honestly terrifies me.

Within the last couple of years, I noticed myself being more and more quiet. I am a pretty quiet person since pre-k, but now I just become silent in my own way. With every person I meet, I cannot keep myself from predicting the timeline of our relationship and when that person will get up and leave.

It is this never ending cycle with new friends and new relationships. From one side, I want to write a book with all my deepest and darkest secrets, awkward moments, and just random facts about me and just hand it out. That would be so much easier then wasting my time and energy into opening up to someone who will just end up ignoring me in a couple of months.

But from the other side, at this point in life you realize it is all a game. A game of life that we are all participating in without knowing. It is always a fifty-fifty chance in a new friendship or relationship of seeing if things will work out. And by choosing to open up little by little, we are testing the waters.

Anyhow, I do not get it. I wish people could just be straight up. Of course, I get it no one can predict the future, but like c'mon tell me your intentions. Are you talking to me because you actually care or because you are bored for the moment.

There needs to be some kind of code that we can crack. A code that will allow us to know if a person is temporary or is going to stay in our life for the long run. But sadly, there is not a code we can crack and we are stuck on our own.

We are in charge of the outcomes.

Cover Image Credit: Google

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An Open Letter to the Best Friend I Didn't See Coming

Some people come into your life and change you forever—thanks, bestie.
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Dear best friend,

I wasn't expecting you when God placed you in my life. I had my friends. I had my people. I wasn't exactly open to the idea of new meaningful friendships because I had the ones I needed, and it didn't seem like I really needed anybody new.

Thank God that was false. Sometimes you meet people and you just know that you're going to be good friends with. Sometimes you meet people and you realize that there is no such thing as chance. I think God has a funny way of making it seem as if the things that happen to us are by chance, but honestly, that’s a load of crap. If the biggest moments of our lives were left up to chance, then I believe that would make God out to seem as if he didn’t care. It would make it seem as if He was truly abandoning me and making me face some of my most important seasons fully isolated. But you, best friend, are a true testament to the fact that God doesn’t just leave such important aspects up to chance. Thank you for taking a chance on our friendship, and thank you for allowing me to take a chance on what I didn’t realize would be the most impactful friendship in my entire life.

Thank you for being real with me. Thank you for not sugar coating things. Thank you for telling me when I have a bad attitude. Thank you for loving me through my mistakes. Thank you for supporting me in my decisions, even if it isn’t always the decision you would make. Thank you for wanting the best for me, and for making that your true intent behind the words that you say to me, whether they be constructive criticism or encouragement.

Thank you for being a goof with me. Thank you for putting me first. Thank you for seeing the importance of our friendship. Thank you for making time in your schedule for us to just sit and do homework, eat Mexican food, or sit on the porch and listen to music that emotionally wrecks you.

You’re one of a kind. You’re a shoulder to lean on. You’re a safe place. You’re a free spirit. You’re rough and tough, but your heart melts for the people you love and it’s obvious. You’re more than meets the eye. You are worth getting to know. You are worth loving. You pursue people. You are passionate about your future. You are everything that a person needs, and I really thank God that for some reason you continue to choose to be in my life. Thank you for literally dragging me up my mountains of fear when I want to stay exactly where I am at and wallow in the sadness. You bring joy—true joy—wherever you go. You are my best friend, confidant, and biggest fan. You will be the Maid of Honor, Godmother, and fun Aunt.

I used to think lifelong friendships weren’t really a thing. It just seemed like people always grew apart and forever was never a point that was attainable. Best friends forever is a cliché phrase that is continuously overused nowadays (sometimes, I even used to make light of it), but thanks for making that a reality. You are truly the best friend I could have asked for. So thank you for it all. You make life more fun, and I couldn’t thank God more for making an incredible human, friends with me.

I love you, pal!

JQ

Cover Image Credit: Julia Dee Qualls

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To My Friends Who Are In Love...

Thank you for giving me real relationship goals

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views

There are no words to express how happy I am for you all.

After being witness to the tears, heartache and sadness your exes caused, I am so grateful you all found people that see how beautiful you all are and are gentle with your hearts.

As your friend, it comforts me knowing you all are with people that would never, ever purposefully hurt you.

It is also comforting to know that you are being taken care of emotionally. They don't belittle or discourage you, but instead motivate and challenge you. They enhance your lives, rather than take away from them.

It makes me happy seeing you all with people that are supportive. People that want you to experience life's opportunities and appreciate your desires to see the world– and rather than holding you back, let you go without an ultimatum.

I love hearing about kind things they do for you.

Whether it's them buying flowers, surprise getaway dates, poems and letters, or just showing appreciation for you– it makes me happy knowing they are treating you.

Or like one of you telling me about a night out and that when you got a little too drunk at the bars, your boyfriend didn't get mad or shame you for your intoxication, but instead got you home safely, made you something to eat and even made sure you took your makeup off– he's a keeper.

I'm happy you are with people that are proud to be by your side. When it comes to your relationships, they don't care what people have to say. They proudly hold your hands, kiss you, post pictures with you, gush about you to their friends and take you home to their families.

Lastly, I'm grateful you all feel loved in return– you all deserve the world and nothing less.

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