From The Girl NOT Ready To Settle Down

From The Girl NOT Ready To Settle Down

There's nothing like being independent.
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views

Hi, I am a college girl, and I am NOT ready to settle down.

(And I'm also not sorry about it.)

I know there are a lot of girls out there around 18 to 22 who have decided that they're ready to find "the one" and commit the rest of their lives to that person. Don't get me wrong, I understand these girls. I was one of these girls. But then I had a wake up call.

If you already found someone you love enough to spend the rest of your life loving, then props to you. But I'm not on board.

Maybe this is because I had a long-term relationship throughout my high school years, or maybe it's just because I actually decided to get out of my small town and see more of what the world has to offer, but I'm just nowhere near ready to settle with one person for the rest of my life.

I can understand the mindset of enjoying the comfort of being with a partner. I know the value of the date nights, the Netflix marathons, always having a reliable dinner partner, the inside jokes, and having someone to ask store clerks a question when you're too shy to do it yourself. I get it. But I don't want to just live a "comfortable" life.

There are so many things I would miss out on if I were in a committed relationship.

While I'm young, my life is all about me, and I don't feel bad for being selfish. I can spend time planning my own future instead of making plans revolving around someone else. I can study abroad for a semester or apply for far-away internships without worrying about the struggle of keeping up a long-distance relationship. I can be more outgoing and meet more people at my university instead of staying in watching Netflix every single weekend. These are not things I am willing to give up for a boy.

Relationships are also a lot of work, and I have way too much on my plate right now to worry about fighting with someone over petty problems. At this age, I'm too busy balancing my own activities to try to add in a boyfriend.

All the happiness that I could find in a relationship, I can also have through doing things I enjoy, working towards my future, and spending time with my friends. So why would I add in a relationship that most likely won't work out and will cause added pain in my life I don't need?

I know relationships in themselves are fun adventures, but they're nothing like being independent. My life gets to be solely about me, figuring out who I am, and discovering what I want out of life.

I'll have plenty of time later in life to find someone whom I can spoil with corny gifts, eat pretzels at the mall, hold hands, take goofy pictures and build a life together. But right now I'm creating my own stories and memories.

I'm sure one day I'll be ready for a relationship again, but for now, I'm perfectly content with staying single.


Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
88623
views

Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I’m The Kind Of Person Who Is Happiest When I'm In A Relationship, There Is Nothing Wrong With That

Please stop acting like there is.

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views

There seems to be this odd notion that it's not alright to be the kind of person that prefers being in a relationship to being single. Usually, when I mention to people that I tend to be the happiest when I'm in a relationship, I get met with, "Well. you aren't ready for one yet until you are happiest by yourself" or "That isn't good, you'll always be dependent on someone for happiness then" or even, "Well, if you can't make yourself happy, then you can't make anyone else happy either."

Allow me to clarify a few things here.

First of all, just because I am happiest when I am in a relationship does not mean that I am not happy when I am not in one. I am still capable of being happy outside of a relationship, and I am capable of making myself happy. Generally, on a day to day basis, I'm pretty happy.

The thing is, I'm just in love with love. Even just knowing that there is someone out there that cares so deeply about you that they want to spend a part of their life with you is incredible. To me, there's just no better feeling in the world than having someone that you can share your life with. Sure, coming home from work, making myself my favorite meal and watching some Netflix in bed by myself afterward would be a great way to end a day and would make me happy.

It would make me immeasurably happier, however, to come home from work around the same time as the girl I'm dating does, share stories of how our respective days went while cooking a meal together, and ending the night cuddling in bed watching Netflix together until we fall asleep. Nearly anything I can do by myself that will make me happy can be enhanced by having someone I love with me to share it with.

To counter another point, I am not, nor will I ever be, dependent on someone else to be happy.

As I've mentioned, I'm completely capable of being happy by myself; I'm simply happier when I'm in a relationship. I also tend to be happier than I am normally when I am listening to music and writing. Nobody would ever say that I'm dependent on listening to music and writing or that I shouldn't write a single letter or listen to a single note again until I learn to be even happier without them than I am with them.

I get that some people just like being single and think it's enjoyable. They don't like being tied down or committed to any one person. They like being able to go out and do whatever they want without having to think about anyone at home worrying about them. They don't want to put in the work of having to worry about someone else. I'm not that kind of person. I'll never be that kind of person.

I love being tied down and fully committed to one person, knowing that they are committed to me, as well.

I love having someone that I know cares and worries about me, and that knows I care and worry about them, too. I simply adore being in a relationship, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

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