This letter goes out to not only my parents but all parents of ex-engineering students.
I know how proud you were to say your child was studying to be an engineer — a biomedical engineer, no less. All you did was brag about me and my intelligence and my future. Hearing both of my parents speak so highly of me was the best feeling in the world. All I wanted was to impress the two people I owe my life to. I wanted to show them that I can make something of myself and that I am not a total mistake. I have always felt as though I have to be a millionaire or win prestigious awards or pave the way in medicine in order to make something of myself. I felt I had to almost be a phenomenon in order not to let my parents down. I have made mistakes in my life, as I am no saint, and I watched the disappointment show on their faces more and more. Maybe this decision will only further encourage that disappointment, or maybe it will remove it from them entirely.
While being a female in STEM would be amazing and have such a high reward, it is not the life for me. I have chosen to no longer pursue biomedical engineering. Instead, I am going to pursue English and writing, which has always been my passion. This opportunity with Odyssey has given me so much hope and faith in myself and my abilities. The fire burning within me has been dull for so long, simply because I gave up on myself, but now it's burning bright and with such an intensity that I just cannot ignore.
Words are my weapon of choice — they always have been— and they always will be. My family loves the sarcastic, witty side to me that really, only they see. They love my voice. Writing lets me express that voice with other people. I am choosing a career where I can share my most adored characteristic with the world, and I could not be happier.
I have a very fond memory with my mom when I was in eighth grade. I had to write a poem for English class, and I wrote about my childhood. I showed my mom — which I hardly ever did — because I was so incredibly proud of myself. The first thing she said to me after reading it was, “Did you plagiarize this?” and later, I saw her searching for my poem on Google. She genuinely did not believe I wrote it on my own, and that was surprisingly the best compliment ever.
Maybe one day this will happen again. Maybe one day my parents will be as proud of the writer as they were of the biomedical engineer. Success comes in many forms, and I believe being a published writer is fairly successful.
