We all have those things about our friends—even our very best friends—that just bug us.
But it’s very confusing when you occasionally feel like the absence of a certain friendship wouldn’t really affect your life as much as you’d like to believe. When you haven’t seen each other in months, hanging out always sounds like a good idea. But after a few hours together you find yourself questioning, again, whether continuing this friendship would really make you happy.
The problem is, there’s a thin, thin line between little annoyances and legitimately bothersome parts in a friendship. Watch out for these warning signs:
1. You feel like you can’t say what you’re really thinking.
Or maybe you can, but it feels strange. Sort of like taking a chance, going out on a limb, testing the waters. It can feel like there isn’t room for your opinions, even on small things. You may wonder, does this person even really know me at all, or do they just think they do?
It doesn’t feel fulfilling when you hang out.
"Fulfillment" may sound like a lot to expect from just spending time casually with a friend, but it’s actually really important. Truly great friends feel whole and satisfied after having hung out, even if they didn't really do much of anything.
3. You’d feel weird talking to them about deep stuff.
It’s great for friends to have fun together, but it’s an even better feeling knowing you’ve got someone you can go to when you’ve got a lot on your mind. It’s very frustrating to constantly wonder whether someone is really there for you through thick and thin.
You feel like a dimmed version of yourself around them.
True friends bring out the best in each other. In this friendship, though, you feel like they’re bringing out less—way less. People are happiest when they fully embrace every shining trait they possess, and this person makes you feel like not all of them matter.
You don’t feel listened to.
Even the closest of friends of course occasionally disagree. But even when there’s a little less understanding on one end, it should still feel as though they care enough to hear what you have to say.