I think we can all admit, a large amount of our high school friendships were very shallow. We called people our friends that were more like acquaintances and our interactions with them were very surface level. It was no surprise that when we went off to college these friendships disappeared almost instantly.
But then there are the deeper high school friendships, the ones where you hung out outside of school, clubs and sports. These were your people. The ones you went to for everything, from having a good time to deep late-night talks. You expected these friendships to stay after going off to college, but you are finding it harder and harder to stay in touch.
In high school, it was really easy to be friends with everyone. Why? Because we were all living the same life. We lived in the same town, we went to the same school, the same classes, the same events. We all listened to the same drama and we all experienced the same things. Not to mention, it was easy to be friends with people when you saw them every day.
Hell, we were practically forced to be friends with everyone.
As much as we claim to be different, in high school we were all living the same lives. Now that we’ve all gone our separate ways — whether it be college, a real job or even the military — we are experiencing life differently.
Once I went off to college, I was exposed to a whole new world than high school, and I suspect all of my friends were too. Seeing as I was at UW Madison, I know I experienced a different kind of atmosphere than some of my friends would have at UW Platteville or MATC for example.
This exposure to different things has changed who we are, so when we go back home over breaks, we may not mesh as well with our friends anymore. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Yeah, you might be losing some friends from high school, but you won’t lose the memories you had with them. You had a good run, but now it’s time for you to go your separate ways.
We can’t live in high school forever.
The best part about college is that it is a completely fresh start. If you didn’t like who you were in high school, you can reinvent yourself. You have the choice of who you want to present yourself as and you have the choice of who you want to associate yourself with.
People come and go in our lives and not everyone is meant to stick around for forever. If you feel you would be better off without someone in your life, it is OK to cut some ties. That is your choice. Nothing and no one is forcing you to be friends with anyone anymore.
But if there are people you want to stay in contact with, you need to put in the effort, and you better hope they want to stay in contact with you. Staying close with people you don’t see regularly is definitely hard, but it’s not impossible.
Interestingly enough, there are people in my life that I went to high school with, but didn’t become close friends with until college. Life works in mysterious ways. I couldn't be more appreciative of the people that have been in and come into my life though. They all have shaped me into who I am, and I wouldn't change it for the world.
To my friends that have gone their separate ways, I understand, life goes on. I'll look fondly back on the memories we shared and I wish you the best in all your endeavors. Feel free to get in touch whenever — I'm always open to reconnect. Until then, see you at the next high school reunion or the next time we awkwardly run into each other at the grocery store.
To the friends I have made in college, I am more than excited to continue our crazy adventures together. I know life is busy, but I can always count on making spontaneous plans whenever we have a free night. And for the days we're enslaved by school — at least we can tag each other in memes. That's the real definition of love.
To my high school friends that made the transition to college friends, I love you guys more than I can even say. Thanks for putting in the time and effort to stay in touch and for valuing me as a person that you want to keep in your life. I know I can always count on you guys to be there for me and I hope you know I'll always be there for you. A lot of you probably don't even realize how much I care, most likely because I never want to come off as mushy or something, but seriously, I love the hell out of you guys.
