What is your definition of a friend?
For many, the answer is simple. The majority would most likely regard the definition of a friend as somebody who possesses similar interests as you. A friend is commonly defined as the people who you could go out to eat with during lunch break, go to parties with, or even gossip with on occasion. Personally, I refer to those people as surface-level friends. Surface-level friends are those who you'll hang out with on a regular basis and perhaps share a few laughs, but they haven't taken the time to get to know the real you. Sure, they may know the funny or happy you because they're the versions of you that are most commonly portrayed in public, but what about the damaged and broken you? Do they know all versions of you, and still stay?
To me, a friend is somebody who genuinely gives a damn about how you're doing. It's somebody who asks how you are and actually cares about the response. They call or text simply just to check up on you. Hanging out with someone on a regular basis does not necessarily make them a friend. A friend is somebody who is there for you through the good and the bad, even when you're apart. "How are you?" is a phrase commonly used as a filler used to get rid of awkward silences, but a true friend will not treat it as such. They make you feel like it's okay to be honest. That type of friendship goes way beyond gossiping or shopping dates. Intimacy is not strictly limited to romantic relationships - it exists, and should exist, within friendships as well. It's someone who you could call at 2pm when your life is wonderful, but also at 1am when your world is falling apart. They have seen all versions of your being; not only the most attractive ones. True friendship is all or nothing. They have seen you emotionally naked; stripped of all those layers you show to the world which leaves you completely vulnerable and fragile.
Those are the friendships that matter. I'd much rather have five genuine friendships than hundreds of mediocre ones. I don't need friends who simply pass time in my days, but that's the extent of it. I need intimacy. Any relationship lacking in that department is a waste of time. I've acquired hundreds of friendships throughout the years, yet few true connections. With each passing year, I learn more and more about the meaning of friendship. I am constantly tweaking my definition. I used to think that I constantly needed to be around massive amounts of people in order to keep me satisfied and make me feel fulfilled in life, but that no longer works for me. Less is more. Mediocrity doesn't satisfy me anymore - it only leaves me empty and longing for something more.
By no means am I saying that surface-level friendships are a bad thing because sometimes, you'll want people to go places with and joke around without discussing heavier topics. That's normal. I just hope you acquire those deeper friendships along the way because they truly are a blessing. I've realized that I can only count my true friends on one hand, but I cherish each and every one of them. They are those intimate kind of relationships I was talking about earlier. I don't feel the need to have 50 meaningless friendships as long as I have a couple true friends to navigate through life with. That's the type of friendship that matters most in life.
