"We have a common enemy and it's not each other."
I'm reading a book called "Uninvited" and this quote was in a chapter about friendship breakups. It stuck out to me because I had recently been going through a "breakup" with my high school friend group.
We get so caught up in trying to defend ourselves and make the other person see our side of things instead of trying to see the positive and truth in the other person. The book says "truth proclaimed and lived out is a fiercely accurate weapon against evil." Ephesians 6:12 says, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." So basically, we put all this time and energy fighting with each other and doing "he said, she said" trying to prove each other wrong, when if we would step back and slow down we would realize we are wasting our time. Now I'm not saying we haven't hurt one another but the Devil is the real enemy. He has come to steal, kill, & destroy.
No, I'm not saying you should go and be friends with someone who hurt you or whose relationship was toxic or negative. What I'm saying is, don't be bitter and angry. They are not your enemy!
The book goes on to say, "I have a choice to see that or not. To live truth or not. To fight for her and against the real enemy or not....it keeps me in a place of acknowledging God as God. It's saying: I don't know all the details entangled in this issue. But You know it all. Therefore, You, God, are the only One who can handle it all. There are a lot of things my flesh is tempted to seek-- fairness, my right to be right, proof of her wrongdoing, to make her see things from my vantage point-- but at this point, the only thing healthy for me to seek is You. You alone. I'm going to be obedient to You and let you handle everything else...... remember how we've talked about living loved and bringing the fullness of God into any situation? This is it. And it's really the only way to get to the place where we can have peace in a situation that doesn't have a storybook ending.
So I fight for her.
Not because we will reconnect. We haven't. And we might not.
Not because she's right.
Not because I'm right.
I fight for her simply because I want to stay right in step with honoring God."
Living loved is not easy. Loving people who have wronged us is not easy. Living for God is not easy. But nobody promised us an easy life. But I can guarantee you that if you put God at the center of EVERYTHING you do, including your relationships, you will win in the end.