I’d just like to preface this list by saying that these thoughts only apply when these are the ONLY times I hear from you. If we talk on a regular basis, when you are experiencing none of these, I don’t mind if I hear from you occasionally when you are in these four states.

1. Bored

I understand that sometimes life isn’t super exciting and boredom rears its ugly head. Often, when this happens, we reach out to friends. Now, I love my friends and greatly look forward to hearing from them, but the problem is when I receive the obnoxious “I’m bored” text. So in order to help reduce how often this message is sent, I’ve devised a short list of things you can do to cure it:

• Read a book.

• Watch a movie.

• Play video games.

• Listen to music.

• Clean your room/apartment.

2. Lonely

When you’ve been cooped up in your room/apartment for the majority of the day, you get lonely. But when you text me and say “I’m lonely” with no intentions to make plans, it’s beyond aggravating. To help with handling your loneliness, I’ve got only one suggestion:

JUST MAKE PLANS WITH SOMEONE INSTEAD OF WHINING ABOUT IT.

3. “In the Mood”

Dude, really? I promise that at least 90% of the girls you just sent that picture to didn’t want to see it, and that includes myself. In addition, I swear to you that you don’t need pictures of me to get the job done, there is this magical thing called "The Internet." My words of advice for you?

Check the web, I’m sure you’ll find something of interest there. Leave me alone, dude.

4. Intoxicated

Now, as entertaining as I find it to get random snaps of you totally trashed, you’re making a fool of yourself. Seeing you drunk/ high in no way makes me like you any more or less, it just makes me think you are potentially ruining your future. When you post pictures/videos of you doing questionable activities, you are risking having an employer or a potential employer see those. So for your own sake, I recommend one foolproof solution:

If you are getting “turnt” or “lit,” turn off your mobile device. Trust me, it’s for the best.