Losing Touch With Friends Is A Natural Part Of Life, And It Doesn't Mean You're A Bad Friend

Losing Touch With Friends Is A Natural Part Of Life, And It Doesn't Mean You're A Bad Friend

Friends will come and go, just remember that it's okay to move on when it comes time to.


As a busy college student working full time and going to school full time, keeping friendships and relationships alive is a challenge. Teachers don't prepare you in high school to cope with losing friendships, and when it starts to happen when you get older as it inevitably will, it can be hard to handle. How are you supposed to cope with losing people who once meant so much to you? How can you come to grips with the void they left in your life? Well don't worry, if you're dealing with this you're not alone.

If you're a young adult it's inevitable that you will lose touch with people you once talked to every day. Surprisingly, despite our technology, our social media, and the ability to communicate with others at any moment throughout the day, I have noticed we are becoming more disconnected. People don't call or talk in person these days, instead we all keep up with events in others lives through "following" social media posts.

Pictures of vacations, Snapchat stories of daily activities, and tweets of highs and lows are what connect us now more than ever. This gives the illusion that friendships are still just as close as they once were, even though this isn't the case. It's hard finding TIME with such busy schedules. I mean, I barely find the time to eat during the day, let alone hang out with an old friend or with new friends. Sending Snapchats or texts gives the illusion you're still close with someone even when you aren't.

I have gone through many different "best friends" throughout my 22 years on this earth. At each point in my life up until now, I have had that one friend who I knew I could always rely on, tell them anything, and know they'd always be there in my life. Until they aren't. It happens slowly.

One day you just can't find the time to talk as much. The next week gets super busy and chaotic, you text them apologizing that you didn't reply right away, you've been studying, you've been working, or whatever came up. Before you realize it, weeks have gone by and you haven't seen this person. This friend starts to drift into being an acquaintance. You keep meaning to hit them up, to set a time to hang out, but it never happens.

Then before you know it you get a promotion at work, or you start a new semester of classes, or they get in a new relationship, or whatever it may be. Big life events are happening and you get pulled away from each other. This hurts.

Months pass and you realize you're changing. As a young 22-year-old, this is normal. You are becoming who you are meant to be, and maybe perhaps that means you aren't going to be interested in the things you once were. You may not have the same hobbies, the same personality even. Things change.

As things change, friendships and relationships change. It sucks at first when you realize the "best friends" you thought would be by your side throughout all of these important life changes actually are nowhere to be found. There is no one to blame, it was mutual. Then you start to see a former best friend make new best friends, with perhaps the values they align with now. Perhaps you just don't fit in. You don't click as you once did.

One thing to keep in mind is that if you aren't changing and evolving, then you aren't living. You do not want to stay stagnant your whole life. Life is about learning, growing, and experiencing, and doing everything you can when you're young to work towards your dreams is so important.

And the reality of this is that sometimes you will be too busy, you will lose touch with your friends, even your family. You will have nights of agonizing loneliness and times when you struggle to connect. There will be times when you look around you and think, wow, I don't recognize who I am. But this is all part of the process. The messy process we call life.

All I can say to the friends I was once so close with, is that I hope you are all doing well. I have always wanted the best for you, and I am sorry if I have been distant. I am sorry if I haven't been the best at texting back or planning hangouts. I have been evolving as I am sure you have been. At the end of the day, I hope you're happy.

Thank you for your years of friendship and memories, I will always cherish them. I am proud of the people we are becoming and thankful to have had you as a friend when I needed it most. It's okay to go our separate ways. Life is about loss, but also about the gain that will come from this loss.

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