I really thought we were friends, even more than that I thought we were best friends. I haven't talked, hung out, or associated myself with you in over a week and you haven't noticed. Well it is either that or you don't care and honestly I don't know what hurts more. As cheesy as it sounds I thought eventually you would be a bridesmaid in my future wedding.

I thought that I was going to get invited to something with you, and I was so excited to go on this trip that I had started saving money to go months ago... How could you not invite me? When I got the news that I wasn't invited and I was just a second thought I called my mom to cry for hours, literally hours. I could not stop crying because I was so hurt that you didn't want me to go. I never could have imagined that I wasn't wanted because in my mind I thought we were best friends. My mom, my dad, and I all came to the conclusion that if I pull away and stop trying so hard to hangout with you, and you invited me and put in effort then maybe you wanted to be my friend. Guess what you did not, and as much as that has hurt me I have finally realized my self worth. I refuse to always have to invite myself to hangout, because clearly you don't want to hang out with me unless I initiate it. I use to try so hard to fit in, because I wanted to be apart of the group so badly. Looking back on our friendship we had A LOT of fun times, but also there has been times when I was really effected by the way I have been treated. This example is so stupid and I have no idea why it effected me so much, but when I was forgotten in the game I could not help but feel sad fighting back the tears I realized I was just another option to you.

I don't know what the future has for us or our friendship, but just know that I want to be apart of your life if you want me there. However, at this point I have to put myself first and I can't just be a second thought in a friendship because that is not a real friend.