Having a group of friends to surround you, support you, and love you is such an important tool in life. I didn't realize how meaningful that message was until recently.In the past, I have had best friends that I would do anything for, but those were single people.
In high school, I was a floater. Everyone knew me and I guess you could have considered me "popular," but I drifted around many friend groups because I never felt I could stay long.
I am the kind of person who enjoys helping others, but I've learned that you can't save everyone. I consider myself to be very independent, but sometimes that causes more harm than good. My first semester of college was rough.
I was happy to be on my own, and the first few weeks, I felt on top of the world. I found a group of friends that I thought were right for me, and I'd find myself mindlessly at their place every day. I have a very loud and spontaneous personality, and I found myself being introverted and if I spoke up, I was disregarded or told to calm down.
I started to care way too much about my appearance, I was really conscious of the clothes I was wearing and spending a lot of time on my makeup so that nobody would compare me to the others.
I felt like I wasn't pretty enough, I was too tall, my body wasn't skinny enough. I didn't even realize how lost I was. If I tried to hang out without makeup on, I was told that I looked "dead". I didn't want to admit that these people weren't right for me because they were fun and I had settled with one group of people.
After a lot of realization, with the help of my parents, I realized, I deserve so much more than what I was getting. I stopped hanging out with these people. I was at such a low point. These people, who I thought were friends, didn't care that I wasn't around anymore. I wasn't useful to them anymore. I realized that I could come back this semester a different and stronger person.
Right before we left for Christmas break, I was studying with my suitemate and her friend. All of the sudden, there was a group of people outside our study room, laughing and having so much fun in the hallway. We instantly clicked that night. This semester, I decided I should start hanging out with them. They were different and I could say the nerdiest things and not be judged.
Suddenly, I'm embraced by this large group of loving people. People, that want to watch Star Wars with me. People, who want to listen to what I have to say, just as much as I want to listen to them. I don't have to wear any makeup, I'm still called beautiful. I've never been so happy or felt so safe with a group of people.
I hope they know how thankful I am for them to accept me as I am. I know I haven't known them for long, but I feel complete with them.
To Jake, thank you for spending almost every day over break talking to me.Your heart is so big and you will do such amazing things.
To Jared, Thank you for giving me more hugs than I deserve, and for not being afraid to open up to me. You have one of the best personalities.
To Caroline, Thank you for listening to me talk non stop and letting me interrupt your homework. You are so sweet and caring and I will always be here for you.
To Nikki, Thank you for opening up to me and trusting that I will always be here for you, you are so beautiful and amazing and rock a boot.
To Taylor, Thank you for always being there for me and letting me be there for you. You are the best RA ever.
To Freddy, Thank you for being my protector, although I'm jealous that my parents love you more than me.
To Dave, Thank you for being there for me and trusting me so much, you are so special and deserve the world.
To Cara, Thank you for being so unique and loving, I don't know what I'd do without you.
To Hunter, Thank you for calling me your friend even though you hate me from time to time.
To the other Dave, You are such a kind spirit and have the best hugs, and I am so thankful to have gotten to know you.
To the other Taylor, you are so beautiful and full of life and I love talking to you.
To Shelby, Thank you for giving me loveable hugs and listening to me.
To Matt, Thank you for dating Shelby, and for making the funniest faces, and your dance moves.
To Jeffrey, Thank you for being so friendly and funny, I'm so glad that you've opened up more.
To Jonathon, thank you for always being there for me, you are incredible.
To Jill, Thank you for constantly making my day a little brighter, your energy is contagious.
To Graham, The athlete, thank you for being there for me and letting me be there for you, I cherish our friendship beyond words.
Thank you all for many bathroom talks, movie nights, sticky notes, and many more.
