My Friends Have Changed, But It's Okay Because I Have Too

My Friends Have Changed, But It's Okay Because I Have Too

Your friends aren't who they say they are anymore, but is that okay?

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As I have grown up and gotten into the college world for a few years, I've become aware of who I do and do not want to spend my time with. As that list narrows down, it's hard to see that some people on that list are not who they used to be. In general, all of us should experience some let down in our college lives and beyond that. But what makes that so hard is that sometimes the cutting down means cutting out some of your friends.

To be clear, you have no obligation to be anyone's friend.

You are your own person and you should matter the most. What I have struggled with, is a lack of knowing who really wants to stay your friend and who keeps up with you because they feel they have to. We give up looking for those answers and make them for ourselves.

People change and they don't ever stay the same. Like yourselves, I have done a bit of changing over the years. But what thing I've always kept in touch with is my other self, the one I supposedly "left behind". This was the self that was formally changed. That girl isn't as naive as she once was; able to go into the night without having any thought as to how that night may turn out. That girl also let people run her over without considering for one second that she may have an opinion about something. I changed FOR this girl, but this girl never changed me. Without her, I could never see that some people want absolutely nothing to do with you and some people care but just don't show it in the obvious way you want them to.

My friends know I have insecurities that come out in sarcastic and sometimes mean ways. I have openly discussed what's wrong with my life and I have no doubts about their feelings towards me. For the girl who feels a little insecure about growing up, let yourself be. It takes a lot of guts to admit that sometimes people around you change, but the person that is really hard to accept is yourself.

"I walked over to the hill where we used to go and sled. There were a lot of little kids there. I watched them flying. Doing jumps and having races. And I thought that all those little kids are going to grow up someday. And all of those little kids are going to do the things that we do. And they will all kiss someone someday. But for now, sledding is enough. I think it would be great if sledding were always enough, but it isn't."
—Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

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From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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