My whole life I feel like I have been left out. Which really sucks, because feeling left out is one of the things in life that upsets me most. It makes me question what is wrong with me. What did I do wrong? Why did they not want to hang out with me?
I can remember countless times where I sat crying, wondering why I wasn't good enough to be invited. There was this one time when three of my best friends all rode to a football game together. We were in sixth grade, and it was a thing to go to every single high school football night. I was so hurt and confused why I didn't get asked to ride with them to the game; we had gone to every game together in the season so far. You can see how hurt I must have been as a sixth grader, but you might think I probably got over it really fast. I wish I could tell you I did. But soon after that experience, moments of being left out seemed to become my new norm.
There was another time when I was in seventh grade about to go over to my eighth-grade friend's house. There were eight of us in total, four seventh graders and four eighth graders. I was so excited about this sleepover with all of my friends until I was told I shouldn't come because none of my seventh-grade friends were going and I would be the only one. It was reasonable; I understood why it would be odd if I went because they were all eighth graders and I would have been the odd man out.
That night, I was TP-ed. No big deal right? Maybe it was one of the cute boys I had a crush on.
Wrong. It was all of the girls I was supposed to have a sleepover with. Turns out the other seventh grade girls (my best friends) were able to go over in the end, and together they all TP-ed me instead of inviting me over again.
Wow, typing that out seriously just made me cringe.
So as you can see, I have had my fair share of being left out and feeling uninvited. It didn't stop after those two instances, and I don't think it ever will stop. I thought I was alone in my feeling left out, but after sharing some of my experiences, I know that other girls have experienced this too.
If this is you, if you're thinking, "Yes, that is SO me," I just want to speak into you for a second.
Our lives are not defined by how others treat us or what they say about us. I want to get that through your head, so I am going to say it again.
Our lives are not defined by how others treat us or what they say about us.
Someone might not invite you over for multiple reasons. Maybe they forgot, maybe they thought you wouldn't enjoy it, maybe they thought you had other plans, maybe they are just a straight up awful person and didn't invite you. Well, guess what, it doesn't matter. Just because you didn't get invited does NOT mean that there is something wrong with you (I know you've thought it). Don't let this get you down. Instead, use it to fuel yourself. Promise yourself you're going to shower that person in kindness from now on, just so that you can make sure they never feel how they made you feel. You wouldn't ever want someone else to feel that way right? Use that fuel and put energy into finding new friends who love you and want to spend time with you (they are out there).
Please don't sit there and let your brain try to come up with all of these awful reasons why you didn't get invited. Nothing good will come of that. Just remember that you are great the way you are. As long as you are kind, caring and compassionate then you'll be set for life. Don't let others bring you down, and if they do, turn around and try to bring them up. Be that person that invites in everyone, talks to the person sitting by themselves, buys the person with a sad face coffee and who notices when other people are hurting. Then you won't feel your own pain of being left out because LOOK, you just invited in everyone else. And that, my friend, is something you have control over.