I'm the girl who has never been in a relationship, let alone been on a date. I have watched many of my friends get into relationships. I have watched them love their significant other. I have watched them get their hearts broken.
Throughout my life, I have had people whom I have been attracted to and wanted to be with. Lo-and-behold, the feelings were never reciprocated. The boy from 8th grade surely did not feel the same way towards me. The boy from sophomore year was the boy who seemed to be a distant classmate. The boy from the senior year was the boy who I joked around with all the time, but there was no way he thought of me as anything other than a friend. The boy from my first year in college, the one who made me laugh all the time, looked at me with the eyes of "we're just friends." The boy from my second year of college, who came out of nowhere, was just another one of those boys who would turn out to be "just another friend."
As I have watched friend after friend get into a relationship, it has made me wonder - if there's something wrong with me? No, there is nothing wrong with me. Some relationships take time, truly they do. What's hard about it is seeing them all so happy in their relationships as I sit alone on another Friday night while many of them are out on date night.
Scrolling through Instagram or Facebook and seeing the pictures of couples makes me want a relationship badly. I am hands down a people person. I love doing life with other people, and to share life with one person sounds amazing to me. I would love to go on adventures with them. I would love to share weird memories with them. I would love to share life with them. So, watching friends of mine do that with their significant other is hard.
Being in college, this a time when many people start to get engaged and married. There is nothing wrong with that, but it can lead to thoughts such as- Am I good enough? Will I ever be in a relationship? and so on. It is incredibly hard to not look at those people and want what they have without feeling jealous. It could be just me, but it's probably not. It could be the fact that I have gone 21 years as a single girl, but it's probably not.
Don't get me wrong on this and surely do not twist my words. What I say in this is simple. I am the girl who talks sports with guys. I am not the girl who goes on dates. I am the girl who has boy friends, but never a boyfriend. I don't need a boyfriend nor do I think having one is a necessity.
It's simple, though, I am the girl friend and never the girlfriend.
