It’s cold outside, and you’re shuddering not because of the weather but because of the fact that it’s only a few more weeks 'til your freshman is officially done. A lot of things have changed. Everything grows: your knowledge, your maturity, perception and even your sleep deprivation; the only exception is maybe your height.

Contrary to a year ago when you came visit your college, you now see more cons than pros. The food turns out to not be as good; the seven-week term system is actually not that beneficial because you just end up cramming everything in a very short time, and self-taught is core; that hill you have to climb daily is more miserable than you ever imagined, especially during winter when you just want to lie in bed all day. And it’s not like high school, when your effort corresponds with your grades; they aren’t fabulous anymore.

First, your definition about college widens from just “partiying and dating” like movies often portray. Most pre-collegers were excited about college because they thought of freedom and “I’m just gonna party every night.” Your heavenly world only exists for at most the first term, and after that you will realize you're not paying sixty thousand dollars a year for nothing. It’s a lot of transitions and things you have to put up with. The biggest misconception is to think that because you only have “three classes” each term while you had to deal with seven classes in high school, you would have tons of free time. But workload is different. You can no longer think, “Oh, it’s due a week from now; I can just start two days prior.” It never works that way because professors always estimate the equivalent amount of time each project/paper takes. The work is a lot harder, and you always have to pull all-nighters just because you push things to their deadlines.

You halt your mind from snapping an instant judgement whenever you see someone. It’s more diverse here than the high school you went to. Back in high school, everyone was shaped in the same form, grew under the same rules and restrictions; there was lack of freedom. But here people are more free to express themselves. You learn that the girl with multiple tattoos is not a gangster; she helps to manage residential service, and she’s actually very nice; drinking and smoking doesn’t make you a bad person; an alcoholic mate is the one who often shares pizza at one a.m. with everyone. You made a bunch of friends at the beginning of the year, but end up sticking with only a few people — but good ones, ones that you can refer to whenever you feel down. Quality over quantity. And just like the majority of people, you have roommate issues. Half of your roommates moved out. It’s not because the rest of you are horrible people, it’s just that some people choose to be more open and put up with situations to learn new experience, while the others want the best for them. For you, you just stopped going around gossiping because you know you’re not a high schooler anymore.

You also learned thousands of tiny skills. You learn to do things you have never done at home. You clean up your room even when there is no daily room inspection or your mom helping. You wash your bed sheets and take out your own trash, which you always thought to be the grossest thing ever. Since dormitory has no kitchen, you actually develop a special skill of making food without the kitchen. Making food here is not just microwaving instant noodles. It’s “cooking” sunny side up eggs, frying bacon, toasting sandwiches just with the microwave.

They say you will learn about yourself the best in college. At some point, you will find out your secondary dreams. Like besides being an engineer, you also want to be a food blogger or a feminist. You want to have a small restaurant or cafe shop when you grow up, just because you enjoy making food. You surprisingly realize that you are not as shy and incompetent as you always thought. You started to write, and now it’s become a hobby which you always thought you sucked at. You’re capable of doing things you never thought of. So you start to believe that as long as you don’t let your assumptions hinder yourself, you will go explore your potential as much as you can.

You learn to make decisions, important ones. You’re an adult now; you don’t have dorm parents or supervisors anymore. A lot of time you are put between fun and future. Do you want to go out tonight to make a lot of friends and have fun, or you want to actually pass this class with an A? It’s not about the “must” that you have to study all day all night and all year long, but sometimes you just need to realize what the “should” is. In addition, friends and fun come from everywhere, not just “parties.” You don’t have to force yourself to be someone else just to “have friends.” Be around people you’re most comfortable with.

It’s true that you kind of slowly turn into either your mom or dad, whomever you always fought with and whomever you thought you would never turn into. Their well-organized lifestyle has somehow impacted you after all those years. You can’t do things without prior planning. You can’t do things just because your id wants to. You make decisions based on your superego and consciousness. Because you’ve grown. No more boldness and stupid rebellion. You actually appreciate everything they have taught you. It's thanks to them that you’re in the prestigious college today. Thanks to them for working extremely hard all those years to give you a chance to be in the school that some of your mates are dreaming to be in.

Even though you have told yourself that you don’t have to know what you are doing your freshman year, it’s the end of freshman year now, and you know you should at least figure out your schedule for next year and the general look for the next three years, and whether you want to utilize this summer to do something useful like an internship or a small job to gain experience. Now you kind of miss your academic adviser in high school who always organized the courses for you, but you cannot just let your time drift away without using it.

Life is the race and we are all racers. You’re the only person who can decide where you put the next step and when the right time is, because someone else might have taken the spot before you. It is tiring and exhausting but you want to strive for the day you can shine at the spot that no one else stands in.