When I first arrived at college three years ago, as a Freshman, I was able to reinvent myself. Coming from one of the smallest town in Massachusetts, I was able to go to a school where almost no one knew me and I had the chance to be the person who I wanted to be.
I remember moving in Freshman year, and crying when I saw my dad get onto the elevator, leaving me alone for the first time in my life. I remember trying so hard to be friends with my three other roommates at the time, thinking “hey, these could be friends!” and yet, I wasn’t in a place to be able to do that. Back in high school, I always thought of myself as the dumb, awkward brute of a girl, who didn’t have any sense of success in my life – I thought that I had amounted to nothing. And, on top of that, I was often pig headed, selfish and a little bit racist, not going to lie. I had a long way to go in order for me to figure out what kind of person I want to be, and while I’m still on that path, I’m glad I at least realized that I needed to find a different path.
About this time three years ago, as what happens when four people live in a shitty dorm together, drama had broken out among my roommates and I. At the time, all I could think was “everyone hated me, I hate this, I hate being here, maybe I should transfer schools, I just want to go home.” I remember begging the Resident Director within my dorm to move me out of my room, and if anything, that was one of the best decisions I could have made. In then being able to choose who I live with, I was happier. I had started making acquaintances with people that made me feel like the person that I wanted to be, the person I was trying to be, instead of the dumb, obnoxious bitch that I was. I then started believing in myself, trying harder with my schoolwork, and turning into a more responsible person than I was.
The first month of college is tough, I learned. While you’re away from everything you’ve ever known, you have to figure out what are the best environments for you to be around. While you may be at school studying to go into a career, school should always come second to your well-being, never putting you in a place where you think the worst of yourselves. At that’s just where I was when I started college – and yet, three years later, I feel that I’m the most successful I have ever been, have people in my life that love me for who I truly am, who don’t make me feel bad about myself or make me feel like I have to impress them. though it takes some time to find your happiness, it definitely will come to you.
