The first time I tried going to college, my health got in the way. I was the worst I've ever been mentally. I did stupid, dangerous things to myself that put so many people under a massive amount of stress. In the end, I ended up having to medically withdrawal from what was supposed to be my freshman year of college. I ended up not receiving any credits for the year because of my inability to complete the work.

The countless therapy sessions I was put in after and during that time focused on one overarching idea: I can start over. I can have a fresh start. I could move on from this hurdle. At the time, I viewed me not finishing my first year as a huge failure. I saw my friends from high school posting and talking about how they officially finished their freshman year, how they got on the Deans list, how they've made so many new friends and I just wasn't like that.

I was obviously thrilled for them, but it made me feel horrible. I thought I was going to be in my hole for a long, long time. At that time, although the idea of having a fresh start was encouraging, I didn't believe it was possible for me.

I honestly don't remember the day I got motivated to try and pull myself out from this dark space, but it happened. I eventually started taking care of myself and looking for jobs and thinking about returning to school next year. I think a big factor in wanting to make all these decisions was allowing myself to take a break and regroup and get the care I needed. As angry as I was at the time, it's important to realize that sometimes you need a break and a fresh start is what you need.

This summer I started fresh, I got a job and I signed up for school part time. If you asked me 9 months ago if I thought I would have a job and be going to school I would probably laugh in your face and then cry about it for a few hours. Im truly thankful that I allowed myself to have a fresh start and I'm happy to say I've been learning from my past.