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17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

At the end of the day fries will always be the only kind of companion you will ever need.

Lexi Link

Sep 02, 2018

The University of Alabama

232

17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

SAS-ASMR / YouTube

We have all had one of those heartbreaks where we just find ourselves eating our feelings in food. Which probably is not the best thing in the world for us but we can't help it. But at the end of the day, that food never left us and won't ever break your heart. So, here are 17 reasons why fries (or any food, really) is better than any boy and why they happen to make the best boyfriend anyone could need.

They're always there for you

24/7, 365 days there are always french fries!

They won't break your heart

Had a bad day? Your french fries won't judge.

They aren't mean to you

Food is more than love... it is life.

And they'll never lie to you

Do I need to say more?

They're all yours so you don't have to worry about cheating

Hands off! I deserve this after everything I have been through.

They'll always be there to comfort you

I'm just going to mind my own business and bathe in a tub of fries.

You can try various flavors and no one will get mad

You get to feel like Oprah. One for you in any flavor and size!

If you order them at 1 a.m., they won't get the wrong idea

Can't judge a girl when she's just straight up hungry.

They only produce food babies, no actual babies

I rather stick to a food baby than anything especially at this point in my life!

You don't have to shave

Like I said, food doesn't judge you. Yes, I would like to eat in my sweatpants and makeup running down my face from last night so what?

You can obsess over them and have it not be weird

I think about food 24/7 and if you day you don't then you are lying!

There's an unlimited supply

Unlimited food for one price... heck yeah!

You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want

French fries > everything.

They don't care what you wear

Yes, I will wear mismatched socks and an old wrinkled shirt.

They don't have a phone so you can't be ghosted

Food has your back no matter what happened.

They embrace your flaws

I will be the one standing there with my friends as they judge how many french fries I can fit in my mouth. A new version of Chubby Bunny!

They love you unconditionally

Food forever and always!

Dig in!

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17 Reasons French Fries Are Better Than American Guys

At the end of the day fries will always be the only kind of companion you will ever need.

In This Article:

They're always there for you

They won't break your heart

They aren't mean to you

And they'll never lie to you

They're all yours so you don't have to worry about cheating

They'll always be there to comfort you

You can try various flavors and no one will get mad

If you order them at 1 a.m., they won't get the wrong idea

They only produce food babies, no actual babies

You don't have to shave

You can obsess over them and have it not be weird

There's an unlimited supply

You don't have to settle for anything less than what you want

They don't care what you wear

They don't have a phone so you can't be ghosted

They embrace your flaws

They love you unconditionally

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The transition into adulthood is never easy

1. "Unlimited Freedom!"

2. "Dorm Life!"

3. "Never mind, where is my apartment?"

4. "Whose idea was this 8 AM?"

5. I'm so looking forward to that nap."

6. "I don't have the brain capacity for this"

7. "Wow, college is great"

It's easier than you think.

1. Look into Housing and Dining.

2. Pay attention to campus postings.

3. Find common interest groups.

4. Join an intramural sports team.

5. Work on a cause that you care about.

6. Join a club related to your major.

7. Get an on-campus job.

8. Volunteer.

College without friends is like peanut butter without jelly.

1. You need people to hang out with.

2. You don’t want to be stuck alone eating lunch or dinner.

3. Weekends suck without anyone to share them with.

4. College will be miserable for you.

5. Finding a roommate for the following year will be impossible.

6. You need someone to talk to about personal stuff or homework that isn’t your mom.

7. Classes will be boring and quiet for you if you don’t know anyone.

8. Walking around campus is just awkward.

9. Homework help and study buddies do not exist.

Why it pays to leave the hoodie at home.

1. Comfort

2. Confidence

3. Surprises

4. Self Esteem

A few signs that you may live in the library whether you'd like to admit it or not.

1. You dress for the temperature of the library, not the weather outside.

2. You say hello to the security guard when he or she walks by.

3. The employees at Starbucks know your name and order.

4. You eat all your meals at a library cubby, not at your own house.

5. You take the quiet floors very seriously.

6. Any night you are not at the library is a special occasion.

7. You have shown up to the library hungover on more than one occasion.

8. Your friends always text you when they are going to the library because they know you will be there.

9. You have taken a nap in the library at some point.

10. You know all the cold and hot spots in the library.

11. You've seen your studying pay off.

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