I’m celebrating my eighth year since joining my fraternity, Sigma Phi Epsilon, so I thought it was best to celebrate with a lovely story on how I got to where I am today.

I transferred to Northern Kentucky University (NKU) in January of 2008 as junior and it was the worst semester of my entire life; I didn’t schedule classes until the week before they started, was commuting over an hour one direction and was holding a full-time assistant manager position at a mall kiosk and part-time in-class tutor. I would start every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at an 8AM class and would end around 4PM, except for Monday since I had a three-hour night class. I didn’t get involved, I was spending a lot of downtime between classes doing coursework and watching crappy television before Netflix was a thing. My first semester was probably the worst, and I wasn’t excited to continue my education at NKU in the upcoming fall semester but I was determined to get a degree.

In the fall, I decided that I didn’t want to just exist between my room and class so I did something that made me super uncomfortable and I signed up for Color Me Greek and recruitment. What I would later learn, after 45 minutes of standing in a line surrounded by women, that I signed up for sorority recruitment; my Fraternity and Sorority Life director Kim Vance (who I loving refer to as my first NKU mom) loves for me to tell that story at the drop of a hat. Fraternity recruitment was the following week, and I showed up and met some pretty amazing people in the five chapters that were present on my campus. I made some friends through the process, and eventually joined Sigma Phi Epsilon at a Buffalo Wild Wings.

It wasn’t for weeks that I truly understood what I had joined; the idea of being part of something larger than yourself doesn’t exactly settle in quickly. I was coming to terms with my sexuality at this point in my life, I wasn’t comfortable around large groups of men, and I continued isolating myself even after joining until EDGE. EDGE was a new member retreat for regions, so I was pretty much locked in a cottage with about 80 other new members and I instantly feeling out of place. That weekend solidified my choice, I had chosen to be part of a group of young men that respected me and my journey surrounding discovering myself.

But it was just the beginning. Soon after, I got referred to New Student Orientation and Parent Programs in order to apply to be a Student Orientation Leader by an older member, Andrew Stewart. I applied and got hired for some reason. I was really quiet and reserved at this point in my life, I’ve gotten more outgoing but … I’m not what I would have considered perfect to be the face of a recruitment program. That summer was amazing, hands down one of the most defining jobs of my life, and I discovered so much about myself and how much I enjoyed helping people especially when it came to finding their home at NKU!

This led to me applying to a huge leadership retreat that was hosted by the Norse Leadership Society; it’s a very competitive program that allows for 75 students out of a school of 14,000+ students to go down to Gatlinburg, TN for an intensive, four-day leadership boot camp hosted by students and you are taught some amazing things by faculty, staff and alumni of NKU. Dreaming Wide Awake was the theme that year, I spent four days crying about some very deep issues that I had been repressing for years and came to terms with a lot. I made a best friend through Jeff Iker, who worked in admissions as a full-time staff member, and came out to my parents. It was a very emotional weekend.

Following that, I joined two organizations: Order of Omega and Norse Leadership Society. I was nominated and given the honor of being a sorority sweetheart, which is an article for another day (THETA PHI ALPHA, PENGUINS SAPPHIRES SISTERS TRUE!!). I took leadership roles in the four organizations I was in (most of which were not elected), had created a week-long philanthropy that my fraternity still uses in the six years since its inception and began building a singing competition philanthropy that funds a book scholarship to outstanding scholars in Fraternity and Sorority life (I actually got to judge this competition the last two years, and it was super exciting to see how much it’s grown since I started this endeavor). I was nominated for Homecoming King, Golden Lamp Award which recognizes outstanding service to NKU and University Service Award. I even found a full-time volunteer position in Utah that would start months following graduation.

My undergraduate years were enriched so much by my fraternity, it opened so many doors for me, and provided me an opportunity to develop myself in ways I would have never thought were possible. I found two organizations, two philanthropies and did countless hours of service through the years I was a transfer student as NKU. I found so much about myself, include the career I’m currently working toward.

All of this because I watched the first episode of GREEK on ABC-Family and was moved to join something much larger than myself, much larger than my 21-year old self could have ever imagined.