Awkward small talk doesn’t discriminate — it could happen at the family potluck, reunions and supermarkets alike. It could be a distant relative, your mom’s friend who just won’t let the conversation die or that kid from high school whose name is long forgotten.
The point is, every student knows those awkward small talk questions we endure time and time again. And PSA, we all resent them.
Here are four of the most common things that students hear during awkward small talk:
1. “Hey! … you.”
This one isn't a question, but it is the bait — a long, drawn-out hello with a tone that’s questionably enthusiastic. It’s possible that this person has also forgotten your name which will be made extremely obvious if they tack on the “you” at the end of their greeting.
What you say: “Oh my gosh, hi!”
What you’re thinking: “Damn! I’ve been spotted!”
And then there’s…
2. “So… What school are you going to?”
It’s the dreaded hook that leads to a line of insincere questions we truly despise. Instead of showing any sign of the reluctance that is swimming through our veins, most of us will put on a happy face and play along. For me, this question is always a pain. "I go to Ithaca College… No, not Cornell, the one NEXT to Cornell."
What you say: [insert university name here]
What you’re thinking: “Why do you care?” or, “Not this again.”
Either way, you know you’re in this for the long haul.
3. “What are you majoring in?”
Also known as “What are you studying?” or, “How else can I make this person feel more uncomfortable?” This question hits a nerve.
What you say: [insert major here]
What you’re thinking: "No offense, but if you didn’t even remember what school I go to, why should I believe you actually care about my major?"
And finally...
4. “What are you going to do with that?”
For humanities majors, this is a tough one. If you answered something along the lines of psychology or creative writing to number three, you know you’re more than likely to receive this person's two cents, either in the form of skeptical comments or advice. Unless you’re a pre-med student, no one is safe from this question.
What you say: “Oh, I think I’ll apply to grad school,” or maybe more honestly, “I’m not sure yet.”
What you’re thinking: “I could barely match my socks this morning,” or alternatively, “Hopefully, stay clothed and fed!”
The truth is, most undergraduates don’t have their whole lives planned out, and that’s okay! Life never turns out the way we expect it to anyway, so why worry? Most people we encounter, however, feel the need to plague our already unpleasant small talk with routine questions that only stress us out more than we already are.
Something to think about is the reason why we insist on stopping for these long, tense conversations. I’d feel safe betting that some of these small talk initiators feel awkward too. So why can’t we just acknowledge each other’s existence with a smile or a swift “hello,” and get on with our lives?
