In college, we’re faced with the prospect of almost constant social interaction. While a daunting expectation for some, many find this to be one of the best things about living the dorm life. However, once classes pick up and the shiny newness of college begins to wear off in favor of resigned treks to the dining hall for sustenance and a quickly dwindling list of welcome events, we become complacent, sticking to our initial friends and deeming it too much effort to continue branching out. Yet, new opportunities present themselves each and every day, whether it’s sitting next to another new face in your 8am class or being randomly complimented in the elevator. Thus, we’ve all experienced a few common types of introductions. Let’s dissect a few.
1. The Fun Fact
Most often used in group settings, this is a way to tack on an extra bit of information for people to make snap judgements about you. In theory, asking people to tell a fun fact about themselves is a genius idea. In practice? So. Awkward. At this point we’ve all been asked this in many settings so we have a few go-to ones but occasionally I panic and say something decidedly boring. It’s also interesting to consider what different people’s ideas of fun are. I’ve heard fun facts ranging from “I’m double-jointed” or “I have two dogs” all the way up to “One time I didn’t shower for two weeks, just to see what would happen”. On the plus side, sharing fun facts is an easy way to gauge someone’s sense of humor. And cleanliness.
2. The Formal Fumble
This is more in the context of an club interview, meeting with a professor, or an attempt to impress a potential employer. You try so hard to make a good impression but end up being the most awkward version of yourself, right when it counts. No amount of preparation or prior meditation can save you once you’ve mixed up a few words, accidentally said something embarrassing, or demonstrated a profound gap in whatever knowledge you were supposed to have going in. The best you can hope for is a solid handshake at the end and an endearing smile.
3. The Feast Function
Occurring in the dining hall or during food-centric events, this can range from the shared experience of waiting in the omelet line or sitting with people you barely know. You bond awkwardly over the mediocre cuisine and gently inquire/tease about food choices. It’s simple but shallow, yet there’s some free food. It’s unlikely you’ll remember the words or the faces, but the free cheese pizza is forever.
4. The Failed Facial Recognition
You’ve met this person before. Multiple times. You stare at them, willing them not to open their mouth and utter your name, forcing you to do the same. No! They remember! Today is not your day. You offer a half-hearted response with the casual use of “you”, “buddy” or “dude”. It’s not the same. They notice. You apologize but there’s no going back.
