The Four Dreadful Feelings You Have After Being Cheated On

Being cheated on is probably one of the worst feelings in the world. It's the ultimate betrayal. But most of all, it's terribly clichéd. Everyone who gets cheated on is bound to feel these four things at least once post-cheat, if not for the rest of their life.

1. Betrayal

This one is the most obvious and common post-cheat feelings. After being cheated on you're going to feel like you gave someone you trusted a loaded gun in hopes that they wouldn't shoot only to have them pull the trigger when you least expected it. Having someone cheat on you is the biggest slap in the face known to humankind. You'll feel like your world turned upside down and there's an incurable emptiness inside you. You'll question the entire relationship and everything that person had ever said to you. Regardless of these feelings, the sad truth is if the person is willing to betray your trust like this in the first place, they aren't worth the tears or the waste of money on multiple pints of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

2. Insecurity

After being cheated on, a person's social media stalking skills are put to the test. I know if I were to ever be cheated on again, I'd hope I wouldn't know who the girl is. You'll end up nitpicking every single thing about yourself and comparing yourself to this person until your self-esteem is below zero. You'll wonder what they have that you don't, or why they were so great to the point that your partner was willing to throw everything the two of you had away for this other person. At times you'll think, "Was this the type of person they were into this whole time?" This is the MOST self-destructive stage of being cheated on. There are so many reasons why it's the worst thing you could do. You're perfect the way you are, and believe it or not, just because the cheating jerk didn't think you were perfect for them doesn't mean someone else won't. It's easy to blame yourself and feel like you weren't good enough or that you did something wrong, but this is never the case. Cheating is literally the biggest taboo in a relationship. The person who cheated did something wrong, not you. Don't ever allow someone with no morals change the way you think about yourself.

3. The Need to Seek Revenge

After someone cheats on you, your self-esteem dwindles and you're going to want to feel like "you still have it." But there is nothing more dangerous than someone emotionally unavailable being physically available. Trying to find someone to rub in your cheater's face won't do anything except show how childish you're treating the situation, as well as damaging your ability to let go. It's important to surround yourself with friends who will nurse you back into dating health instead of trying to find a rebound who will make you feel even more empty than you were before. It's like fighting fire with fire, and you will always lose the battle. The most depressing part of this all? There is almost no chance that the person who cheated on you will even care. At all. So let yourself heal before you create new wounds.

4. Trust Issues

And finally, the most long-lasting, irrevocable side effect of being cheated on is your loss of trust. It's proven that people who were cheated on can develop a type of post-traumatic stress disorder that stays with them for a long time. Losing your ability to trust affects your ability to make and keep new, healthy relationships in the future. Because you were cheated on once, you'll always have the fear of being cheated on again holding you back. This is why people end up paranoid and insecure in relationships. It's so harmful if you ever intend on being happy with someone again. Think about it: just because one heartless moron violated your trust doesn't mean that everyone has those same intentions. The best thing to do is tell your new partner what happened, explain that you have trouble trusting anyone and hopefully you two can build off of that and be able to grow a healthy, trusting relationship. It's scary, I know. But you can't expect to find happiness if you don't allow yourself to take a risk. You can't allow someone who cheated on you to hinder your possibilities of finding true love.

There's no way to get around these feelings, but maybe after reading this you take a moment to see how these aren't uncommon things to experience. You got cheated on. First you grieve, then you glam and go out there and try again. It's hard to move on from this experience but it doesn't define your entire dating future. Each of these feelings only stay as long as you allow them to. You aren't alone, but most likely the cheater will be and that's the best part.