The start was all wrong. You find yourself saying “if only I could go back and change this, maybe things would be different.” In reality, we all know that’s not possible.

Bad things were happening, parents divorcing or losing a loved one. Things couldn’t get any worse for that situation, and then you’re out of money because you had to pay the bills. You lost your job the next day.

And then, things got better.

You kept your head down and kept on trucking along, carrying all that weight with you. You made changes here and there, getting a new job and cutting toxic people from your life. You started putting yourself and your needs first. You set goals for yourself, and stretched yourself thin to reach them.

And now, you’ve made it. Finally.

After all these hardships, after all of the crap you had to go through, you are able to make a name for yourself in this world. Things are finally looking up for you in the best way.

You met a cute person at that café the other day. You might call them, if they don’t have Tinder. You have a nice job, one that you actually enjoy going to and working overtime for.

Some people would say, “Well that’s nothing compared to what I went through…” But that’s not what matters. This is not a competition of “who had it worse” but instead a proud showcasing of how you managed to make something out of nothing.

And now, you move along.

Conquering the world, or city, at your leisure.

Glancing back, you may question how you even survived. Let that fuel you to do even better things in your future endeavors.

If you begin to doubt yourself for even just a moment, don’t. Half of the people who were in a similar situation as you didn’t have the strength to get up and keep moving.

As I grew up, I would do this visual form of self-reflection. I’d go into a room with a mirror and look at myself. I’d close my eyes and think of a time when I was even younger, maybe less than 10-years-old. I’d think of what I was doing at that age, at that time. Gradually working back up to the current day, I’d reflect on all that physical, mental, emotional growth I’ve accomplished in my short time here. And eventually, I’d open my eyes and look at that person in the mirror. I would smile at myself, as if to say “Thank you for reminding me of what was and recognizing what is.”

We don’t know what lies ahead, where we’ll be or what will happen. But what matters is that in the here and now, you are doing the best you can. And when that day comes when you don’t know where to go or what to do, look in the mirror and reflect.

In the words of St. Jerome, “The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the secrets of the heart.”