When a case of writer’s block hit me with an approaching deadline, I was forced to look back to old family videos for inspiration, and I wasn’t disappointed. I had completely forgotten about my dirty little secret: I am a former pop star.

It’s true. I was one of the five members of the Powerpop Girls. No, not like the Powerpuff Girls. We were a group that would go down in history as the coolest group of pre-teens to ever cover a Shania Twain song with choreography involving scooters (it was as bad as you can imagine).

All five of us were living on the Air Force base, so it was only natural that we would join together due to our mutual musical talents (or lack thereof). We worked really hard that summer to put together a concert for the cul de sac, and I’m still in tears after just having watched it.

We started with your classic “Powerpop Girls Introduction” which consisted of each member of the group singing a little “My name is _____. I’m cool and clean. When I do Powerpop, the crowd will scream” followed by our favorite dance move. (Mine apparently was the funky chicken.)

Then we busted out into an original medley consisting of “YMCA”, “Nobody’s Perfect”, “We’re All In This Together”, and countless other cringe-worthy songs. And yes, we did curtsy at the end of our performance.

We needed a quick outfit change after this, so another member of the group's and my older brother performed a “comedy routine” which consisted of them passing a ball back and forth while saying “woo.” Classic.

We came back out in our most punk rock outfits (which for me was just a normal outfit with a black neck tie) and performed a moving cover of Hannah Montana’s “If We Were A Movie.” I couldn’t see the crowd in the video, but I’m confidant there was not a dry eye in the crowd.

Then came our biggest number. Shania Twain’s “Man, I Feel Like A Woman!” intro started and out came five girls on scooters. Halfway through the performance we lost the scooters and formed a conga line, but I couldn’t see much else because my tears were obstructing my view.

We needed one more outfit change before the finale, so our brothers returned to the stage for their own medley involving “Nobody’s Perfect”, “U Can’t Touch This”, and “Material Girl”. I tried to show this video to my brother, but he said he would rather not relive this shining moment of his.

You hear a neighbor say to my videotaping father “You’re getting this, right?”, and then the Powerpop Girls come out in their fanciest dresses for the final performance of their careers. There was an obvious choice as to which song they should perform. You guessed it: “You Can’t Stop the Beat” from Hairspray. While the choreography was impressive, our breath control wasn’t, so you can’t understand half of the words. However, I’ll look back at this performance for the rest of my life knowing that I was a star.

If you’ve read this far into this article, I know what you’re thinking, and no, you cannot have my autograph.