I'm at a weird place in my life, personally. People all around me are getting married or engaged. This just seems so... GROWN UP! I'm still learning what I want for my life, for myself, let alone another person.

I guess the biggest struggle I have is realizing that some people's memories will linger. Ex relationships, friends from your past, etc. Some of these memories will always hold very real emotion. Years have passed, and I still hold a little disappointment or anger. Forgiveness is difficult and it's a skill that we all work on. Some situations are just very difficult to forgive. I'm learning it takes time, and space and it takes thought.

Through every relationship -let me be clear, when I say relationship I'm not specifically referring to the romantic, but also to the platonic ones- I've been able to learn SOMETHING. Through some, I've learned to listen to my gut feeling. I've learned that if you feel you need to change to be with them, you should probably hit the road in the other direction. I know a little bit more of what I'm worth. I know what expectations I have in other people in my life. I've learned that I have a tendency to compartmentalize my life: personal, work, school, and family. Not all people in my life do I let intermingle between these boundaries. I'm not really sure why that is. I've learned that I can be too nice and I care more about others than myself in most situations.

Reading these things that I've learned I'm thinking about all that I've experienced to be able to list out those simple words. These various experiences I will carry with me. There is hurt, sadness, regret, anger (to this I add there is a long, snide filled dialogue that if given the opportunity I would love to unleash), but there is also happiness and hope.

I, like many other people, have to learn lessons the hard way. I actually wouldn't like it any other way. I'm so ridiculously happy that I've learned these lessons about myself because I truly believe I'm a better person for it. So to the few people who truly anger me, thank you for giving me an opportunity to grow. My mom has told me that forgiveness isn't for the other person, but for yourself. When I was younger I didn't understand that, but I understand that concept more now. However, I also understand that forgiveness comes when you are ready to let that go. I'm not one of those people who can make like Elsa and 'let it go'. I work at it, and at some point I will truly be able to say, "I hope they are happy". This is okay. I'm not consumed by my 'leftovers', it doesn't infiltrate my everyday life. I'm okay. I am allowed to have a little bit of emotion though. It protects me from entering such situations again.

I do have hope. I know that everyday I find something else about myself that I've learned from someone else, good and bad. This is life. When it comes to kicking 'baggage' to the side, I look forward to it, and I know its' possibility.

So, if anything, when you're angry and hurt, know that eventually you will be so much stronger. At some point you will be put in a similar situation and have the opportunity to react from experience and completely avoid having to experience it again. There's comfort in that.

Also, I wholeheartedly believe that in one way or another what goes around comes around. I have to believe that life has it's own version of vigilante justice. However, if I had it my way my favorite vigilante justice enforcer would just take care of it. Alas, Batman is just a comic character. So life just has to step up in his place!