At almost 21 years old, I’ve changed a lot since high school. Thankfully, I’m not as naïve, or insecure, or immature as I was back then.

That’s what college is supposed to do. For me, college didn’t just help me grow; it helped me evolve, like that cliché caterpillar-turned-butterfly metaphor. I know I’m not the only person who can write an article about how college has changed me. Or how going to school 1,000 miles away from home has changed me. Or how not keeping in touch with many people from grade school has changed me. So that’s why I’m not doing that. I’m not writing an article about how I’ve changed. I’m writing an article about how other people have changed.

Since returning home from college for the first time (Thanksgiving break, freshman year), I have been approached and/or contacted by many of my old classmates. And I’m not going to discriminate between boys and girls. It’s pretty split 50/50, actually. Girls I haven’t spoken to in years will ask me if I want to “catch up” because they “miss” me and we “haven’t talked in forev” and I look like I’m “so happy at school” and they want to hear about it. Boys I liked in middle school who would never have given me the time of day will text me and ask if we can hang out. Boys who bullied me in middle and high school will do the same. It’s confusing to me, really. Just by seeing my photos on Instagram or my posts on Facebook, these people who knew nothing about me then, decide they want to get to know me now.

Some of you may read this and expect for me to be flattered. Flattered that someone who was once so mean to me could have had their caterpillar-butterfly evolution and changed their life around and want to associate themselves with me. Flattered that a boy who thought I was ugly thinks I’m attractive now. Flattered that my happiness and growth have shown so much just through social media that it has resulted in buzz, gossip, and chitchat from my fellow high school graduates.

But I’m not flattered. Yes, I forgive you for the rudeness and the pettiness and the bullying you put me through for years. I forgive you for making me insecure about my looks. I forgive you for calling me names. I forgive you for the peer pressure. But just because I forgive you, does not mean I want anything to do with you. So yes, I forgive you, but no thank you. I do not want to meet up with you. I do not want to be a checkmark on your guilty conscience checklist, because you feel you have finally grown up and you want to make amends.

Hear me now: I forgive you. You can check me off your list, but I do not want to see you.

Remember a couple paragraphs ago when I said that my happiness and growth shows through social media? Yeah, I’m just going to let it keep doing that. Keep reading my articles, keep looking at my posts, and keep liking my photos.

Let’s just leave it at that.