With having left high school in the past, I confidently believed that I knew those who would continue to stick by me, and those who would fizzle out in my life. I had what felt like was a neatly organized list of those whom I could rely on, those who would always care for me, regardless of the distance, time, matter, or whatever circumstance I could formulate. However, I was completely, utterly wrong.
This is not a slam for those who continued to live their lives, molding to their new beginnings much like I have. This is a realization on my end... How we are all growing, morphing, changing, and becoming ourselves, and sometimes the pieces we grow into don't seem to fit where they once had. I know that I have been guilty of turning a seemingly blind eye in these situations myself, and sometimes it is without any idea there had been a situation in the first place.
I know that growing up and changing is normal, but the pain that is left in those you might have once confided in does not suddenly disappear due to the fact that change is normal. So, this is the time to forgive those who forget.
Stop holding grudges. Though you may very well feel victimized, stop. Thinking the world is against you will not change the current outcome of your friendships, so do not continue to create this idea in your mind that everyone hates you. Continue loving people, instead. Grow beyond the mistakes and failures in those who let you down, forgive them, and continue moving forward. Though these cuts do sink deep, it is not healthy to constantly dwell on those who did not have your back when you needed them the most. Remember, instead, how this made you feel. How not having the person who you care about support and love you in your time of need made you feel empty, or lost. Remember how bad it hurt, how lonely you felt, and make it your mission to never allow anyone in your life to ever feel the way you once did. Remember to be open, caring, and thoughtful, especially because you know what it's like to have the lack thereof.
Overall, what I am saying is, do not continue to have ill feelings towards those who seemingly just forgot. Change your focus, relocate your energy, and continue moving forward. Your constant dwelling on how these people were not there for you when you needed them the most does not change the fact that they weren't (and most likely, still aren't) there. Instead, take note of those who picked you up off the floor, dusted you off, and helped you back on to your own two feet. Those are the people who deserve all of your thought.
